Episode 163: Ego vs Education: Which do you choose most?
How do you feel about being vulnerable? Do you let it become something that impacts your ego? Or do you let it become a point of education? In this episode, Fiona talks about how you can see feedback through an educational lens.
Topics discussed in this episode:
Introduction
Group Coaching Waitlist
How do you feel about being vulnerable?
Ego vs Education
Conclusion
Get in touch with My Daily Business Coach
Resources and Recommendations mentioned in this episode:
Hello, and welcome to episode 163 of my daily business coach podcast. We are literally days away from a new year. I don't know about you, but I love, love, love, love the idea of hope, the idea of all the slate being clean. I'm totally one of those people that falls but all the New Year New you kind of collateral that comes out at this time of year, but I absolutely love it. I also love reflecting on the year that's been. And I know that in the next episode on Thursday, if you're listening in real time, in two days, I'll be reflecting a lot on 2021. And asking you kind of to do the same. So make sure you hit subscribe, so you don't miss that episode. I’ll give you lots of things to be thinking about this time of year. But today, it is a quick tip episode. And it's one that might be a little controversial, is probably too strong a word, but definitely something that might hit you a little hard depending on how you operate. I'll get stuck into that in a second.
Just a reminder that if you are interested in group coaching. So if you want to be part of my 12 month program, where you join myself and nine other small business owners. We cap the group at 10. And we curate it to make sure that we've got a really lovely group. And yeah, we meet every two weeks for a whole year. And you not only work with me you work with, you know the other people in the group. But we have experts that come in as well and coach you on everything from inclusivity and diversity through to founders that have done really, really well showing you exactly what they've done in their business answering any questions, maybe asking you some questions as well. We look at SEO, we look at systems, we have a financial advisor who comes in, lawyer, and just the whole lot. So I love the group coaching program. I think it is just such a great way for you to learn and grow your business whilst also creating these networks and connections and friends with people in a similar boat. So you can find the waitlist, we just had the waitlist open at the moment. And you can find out at mydailybusinesscoach.com/group-coaching-waitlist. And we'll link to that in the show notes. And if you've got any questions around it, please let us know you can email hello@mydailybusinesscoach.com or you can send me a DM at @mydailybusinesscoach on Instagram.
So before I get stuck into today's quick tip episode, I just want to acknowledge the traditional owners and custodians on this beautiful, beautiful land that I'm literally looking out at as I record this. The land I live on and that has nurtured me so much. So pay my respects to the wandering people of the Kulin nation and pay respects to their elders past, present and emerging and acknowledge that sovereignty has never been seated. And if you are based in Australia or anywhere really in the world, then I would urge you when you're looking at your 2022 plans, really think about how are you aiding Inequality for All really. You know putting that front and center in your business in the way that you support causes in the way that you talk to people and the model choice that you use. Really how you are aiding equality for all. So let's get stuck into today's quick tip episode, shall we?
So often in these episodes, I post a question or I might give you a tool or a tactic that you can use and today I really want to post a question and ask you from home… That's my bad drumroll. How do you feel about being vulnerable? And more so when you are vulnerable, when you put yourself out there, when you stand up for something, when you have an opinion on social media, when you send a newsletter, when you get onto a video and put your face on the camera? How are you feeling?
Do you let it become something that impacts your ego? Or do you let it become a point of education? So I guess that's the big thing today in this episode, really looking at when we're vulnerable, and particularly when we're vulnerable, and maybe we don't get the result we wanted, or maybe we get a bit of backlash, or somebody comes along to tell us otherwise, to what we're doing, or, you know. We do all these videos, and we don't get the reach that we thought it would. Do you see it as a negative, where it's really bruised your ego? If we're going to be really frank, and you're sort of like, “I did this and no one cared”, “No one signed up” or, “Hey, I did this, and somebody told me that I'm doing it the wrong way”. Or, “Hey, I stood up for this cause and someone got in touch to inform me about x y, and zed.” It is my first instinct to look at how my ego feels, am I you know, oh, my God, I feel like such an idiot. Why don't I do this? You know, is that where I first jumped to? Or do I look at it from a place of curiosity and think, how is this education serving me? So I know that I have definitely fallen, I would say, honestly, into both camps. But of course, I have fallen into the ego one many, many, many, many, many times. Many times. And this is a question I sometimes put to my clients when they talk about something, you know, maybe not going to plan or they talk about, you know, a competitor, or they talk about, you know, some comment that somebody left them. And we talk about, you know, are you upset because it negatively impacts your business? Are you upset because of XYZ? Are you upset because your ego is hurt, because you had this expectation, and it fell short, or because you thought I'm doing this, and someone came along to give you some information that maybe you didn't know, and quite often, they're not coming along, to beg you out and to, you know, bruise your ego even further. But what we need to do is sometimes step away from letting our ego overpower the education that comes from it.
So for example, on my own in my own business, I have, you know, many times I shared things that I think a shareable share worthy, I have, you know, talked about causes, perhaps that, that I really feel that I want to support that the business supports. And occasionally I have been sent a really, you know, lovely, if I, if I look back at it, not through emotion, and ego, but if I look back on it, you know, someone going out of their way to share further information with me, or perhaps, let me know that something was incorrect. And I've had to, at times, you know, definitely at times, I don't want to, like, you know, bag myself out completely, because it's just not true. Like, sometimes I do genuinely take it with a really good mindset. And I'm like, thank you so much. And other times I can fall into. I shouldn't have even tried it like, Oh, my God, this, you know, God, I just know nothing. Why did I even bother doing that? And I've really had to stop doing that and be like, you know, what, what can I learn from this situation? And I think, if we can look at these instances in our life, when we're being vulnerable, as an education, opportunity, if we can look and go, You know what, I put myself out there. Yeah, it didn't necessarily work the way I wanted it to. Or maybe I wanted a certain amount, you know, I wanted something and I didn't get it. Or maybe I've put myself, you know, out there and someone's corrected me, or I've put myself out there and no one said anything. And I'm like, Oh, great, all that effort and all that stress.
And so yeah, I'd be asking you in this quick tip episode to really think firstly, how do I feel about being vulnerable? Do I shy away from doing things where I'm uncomfortable, where I'm showing up in a different way, where I am championing a cause that perhaps, you know, you don't feel like you're the world's biggest expert on? And then how do I feel about that? You know, and when I do put myself out there as a business owner, and as somebody you know, who's the guardian of your brand, and it doesn't work out whichever way that looks like to you? Do I fall into a kind of pit of my ego and what's this done to my ego? And it's all about me, me, me, or do I see it as a genuine opportunity to learn?
Now this could be about big things like standing behind causes. It could also be about small things like I know that he used to when I first started my business it used to really get a grip. Honestly, I used to be so embarrassed if somebody sent me a message to say that something had been misspelled or that the grammar was incorrect in an email that I sent. I would fixate on it. I would really feel bad because I come from a journalism background. And I would think, well, I shouldn't have got that wrong, like, Oh, my goodness, what might they think, and I'd really kind of set myself on this perfectionist standard that it's like, you know, you just stuffed up like you're rushing. And, but instead of that, I've had to, you know, take that exact thing and go… Well, you were rushing, and maybe you've got to really look at the system and make sure that you know, you're proofreading it, somebody else's proofreading it before it gets sent out. And now we have a completely different system set up. But back then I was doing it all myself. And so I really did let my ego step in front of the opportunity for education, the opportunity of going. You know what, that was caught out, that was incorrect, I've rushed it, maybe I need to start writing these a little earlier than kind of Sunday afternoon. And so I had to start seeing it through an education lens. And so I think that's really, really helped my business, it's also helped the emotion get out of the way, because it's like, the emotion, often we can see something in our instant, you know, if we're going to ego, our instant thing is to get all worked up to get a shame to feel like an idiot to worry about it, to let it keep us up at night to vex and like fuel it really by talking about it with friends and over and over and over. Versus if we take it as an education opportunity. It's like, okay, that happened. What can I learn from it? What am I going to change? So either it doesn't happen again, or I better research things myself, or, you know, all sorts of opportunities that can come out when you put on that kind of cap of curiosity. I often say to people, put the cap of curiosity on and think about, what's this person trying to do? They're usually trying to help you, they're literally trying to go out of their way to say, hey, you may not have noticed that this happened. Or you may not have known about this. So I'm just kind of giving you a heads up. And that is usually pretty much always sent with good intent.
So that is the question that I would pose to you or two questions. One is how do you feel about being vulnerable? Do you shy away from it? And maybe how could you do more of it, practice it, it's like a muscle, you know, practice it, especially as we go into a new year. And then when you are or when things don't work out the way that you'd hoped? And somebody kind of pulls you up on something or you get a comment? Or do you rush into ego territory and make it all about yourself? Or do you go into education territory and make it all about what was that person trying to teach me? So I mean, of course, we're humans. Of course, we have egos. Of course, these things you don't can just turn it off like a light switch. And suddenly, you've got no more ego. But it'd be great as small business owners, there’s so many of us, that if we can start looking at things through a lens of education and a lens of curiosity, what might that do to the way we communicate with people and the greater community at large? So that is it for today's quick tip episode. How do you feel about being vulnerable? And where do you spend most of your time when things don't work out? Are you in the camp of ego, or the camp of education?
If you found this useful, I would love it. If you could share it with a friend, maybe you've got a friend that's going through this exact issue right now. And they're beating themselves out because XYZ happened. Send them this and maybe it'll just give them a little flip the script in their mind and they will shift over to the education camp. What can I learn from this? What is it trying to teach me? What is that person or whoever has reached out to you? What have they done? Because most of the time, they're just trying to help you, they're just trying to bring some information to you that maybe you didn't know. And that's fine to not know we don't know everything. The older you get, the more you realize you don't know anything. My dad used to always say that the older I get the more I know. And he was one of the wisest people I know.
So I'll leave it on that note and if you want to revisit this in text format, you can find the show notes over at mydailybusinesscoach.com/podcast/163 as this is episode 163. I will catch you later on this week as we say goodbye to 2021. See you then. Thanks for listening to the My Daily Business Coach Podcast. If you want to get in touch you can do that at mydailybusinesscoach.com or hit me up on Instagram at @mydailybusinesscoach.