Episode 285: Three questions to ask yourself
Business owners often struggle with imposter syndrome and self-doubt, which can hinder their progress. In this episode, Fiona shares three questions that small business owners can ask themselves to shift their mindset and overcome these challenges. Tune in!
Topics discussed in this episode:
Introduction
Three questions to ask yourself
Conclusion
Get in touch with My Daily Business Coach
Resources and Recommendations mentioned in this episode:
Welcome to episode 285 of the My Daily Business Coach podcast. Today you are listening to a small business tip episode, and that's where I share a tip, tool, or tactic that you can implement immediately in your own small business. Before we get stuck on that, I wanted to mention two things. One is to acknowledge the traditional owners and custodians of this beautiful land on which I live and record this podcast, and that is the Wurrung and Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. And I pay my respects to their elders, past, present, and emerging, and acknowledge that sovereignty has never been ceded.
The other thing I'd like to mention is that we are rebranding. Please look out for a slightly different name to this podcast in the coming weeks and slightly different artwork to this podcast. It is still going to be exactly the same podcast, just under a slightly different name. And all of our links will be redirected to the new website. Hopefully, that'll be up and out. But please keep an eye on it because if you suddenly don't see the little yellow square from My Daily Business Coach, you may see something else that looks very similar. And just be sure that it is the same podcast. We don't want you to miss out on any other upcoming future episodes. With those two things said, let's get on to today's quick tip episode.
Today I'm going to talk about something and it is going to be a quick tip episode, but it's something that many people have heard and there is such conversation, I guess on the internet about who said this or who came up with this concept first. Everyone from Socrates to Buddha
to Bernard Meltzer, who's a radio host or was a radio host in the US has been attributed as the source of what I'm about to talk about. I will just talk about this concept, but as I said, it has been attributed to all sorts of things from Buddha’s sophism, Socrates, and then a book, Miscellaneous Poems. It comes from all different places, but I'm just going to tell you the concept rather than worry so much about the source.
But the idea is that when we are facing our own demons or our own narratives that go on in our mind, and they go on in the minds of every single small business owner, believe me, I work with some people who are huge, big brands, big names, very successful, by all means. And they still have self-doubt, they still have imposter syndrome, they still have narratives that go on in their head, massive compare and despair. Something beautiful and privileged about being a business coach is to be able to see inside so many different small business owners' minds and even for an hour that we're coaching, but also to see behind the scenes in their business. We all struggle with thoughts from time to time that we are not good enough. I'm not big enough, I'm not far along enough, I'm not making enough.
We have these things. The concept that I wanted to talk to you about today if you haven't heard about it, is called the three questions also sometimes looked at as the three gates. But again, there's confusion online about the source of this. But anyway, I always think of it as the three questions, which is to, when those things are happening in your mind to consider, is it true? Is it kind, is it necessary? Is it true? Where is the factual evidence that says, let's say for example if you're thinking I'm not far enough long where I should be in my business, who decided that seven years into the business, every business that hits seven years should be making X amount of money or should have a certain amount of stuff, or should? No one, there is no fact to that.
There is no saying when you get to seven years in business or when you get to four years in business, this should happen automatically to every business, no matter what industry they're in, no matter who started them, no matter what the background or experience levels were, everyone should be here. It's just not true. It is not true. The first thing is, is it true? The second is, is it kind? Is this the same way that you would phrase something if you had a friend in the same boat as you, would you say that to them? Would you say it to their face? Would you say, “You're so far from where you should be” like, you should just give up now because you are a pathetic loser? No, chances are you would not say it, you wouldn't, it's not kind. That's the second point is to think, is it kind?
The last is, is it necessary? Is it necessary for me to be saying this to myself? Now, on the odd occasion, it is. Sometimes we need to have a wake-up call or sometimes we need to give ourselves a real talking to and think, I've been backing off a bit or I've been expecting X, Y, Z when I haven't put in the effort or, I've been getting jealous or comparing myself to somebody who is in a different season of life and I've got to just reflect on the season that I'm in right now. That sometimes is necessary, but most of the time it is not necessary. It is not proving anything, it is not helping you get somewhere. It is just a slanging match at yourself internally. By coming to the questions, whether you want to journal them, whether you just reflect on them, whether you just take five minutes out of your day, even if you're in the car, just switch off the ignition when you get to someone's place and just spend 10 minutes in the car by yourself thinking about this stuff.
If you're in Melbourne right now, you might want to turn the aircon on because as I'm recording this it is so hot. But to sit there and think is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true? Is there factual evidence? Is it kind? Would I say this same thing to a friend who is in the same situation and is it necessary? How is this thought or belief or what I'm telling myself helping me get further along in where I want to be in life or in business? Those are the three questions. Is it true? First of all, is it kind and is it necessary? I hope that he's helped you. I know myself, I can tell myself all sorts of horrible things. I've definitely gotten better, but I have definitely had my moment where I have just my inner critic has been absolutely deafening in my mind and I've, I've sat down and I've worked through these things and I've helped countless clients work through them as well.
If it's something that you are struggling with, if you find yourself quite often in that space, firstly give yourself a bit of grace. But also maybe put these three questions on a post-it note and put it up on your computer. Maybe put it as your screensaver on your phone so that you can keep coming back to is it true? Is it kind, is it necessary? And I hope that has helped you. We will link to the places that I've referenced in the show notes, but again, there is no clear-cut answer on the source of this from what I have looked at quickly. But happy to be proven wrong. If you want to email us, you can do that at hello@mydailybusinesscoach.com. But I hope that has helped. We will leave the show notes over at mydailybusinesscoach.com/podcast/285 as this is episode 285. And just a reminder that we will be changing our name very slightly very soon. Look out for new artwork and a slightly different name, but it's the same great content that you have grown accustomed to. Hit subscribe button so you don't miss out no matter what happens to the name. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you next time. Bye.
Thanks for listening to the My Daily Business Coach podcast. If you want to get in touch, you can do that at mydailybusinesscoach.com or hit me up on Instagram @mydailybusinesscoach.
