Episode 325: Breaking generational issues
How can your business inspire change and empower the next generation? In this episode, Fiona discusses the concept of breaking generational cycles and how running a business can contribute to this. She talks about money mindset, work ethic, societal perceptions, and the importance of pursuing a passion. Tune in!
Topics discussed in this episode:
Introduction
Seeking professional help for mental health
Breaking generational cycles through business
Being a role model for younger generations
Shifting attitudes toward money and work
The impact of societal and educational influences
Encouraging creativity and pursuing passions
Reflecting on personal experiences and family dynamics
Considering the role of business in breaking generational cycles
Conclusion
Get in touch with My Daily Business Coach
Resources and Recommendations mentioned in this episode:
Welcome to episode 325 of the My Daily Business podcast. Today it is a quick tip episode, and this is a juicy one. I don't know if that's the right word, but it is definitely one to consider spending time thinking about and putting into action in your business, and in your life. Before we get stuck into that, I want to acknowledge the traditional owners and custodians of this beautiful land on which I record this podcast. And that is the Wurrung and Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. And I pay my respects to their elders, past, and present, and acknowledge that sovereignty has never been ceded.
I also want to preface this, that today it is a bit of a heavier one. I just want to say I'm not a psychologist, I'm not a mental health expert professional in that area at all. If after today's episode, you feel like talking to somebody, please go and talk to your GP and get a referral to a psychologist or a psychiatrist. If you're in Australia, check out New Access by Beyond Blue. That allows anyone that's running a small business as long as you've got an ABN to access 10 free mental health coaching sessions. These are not with psychologists or a psychiatrist, but a mental health coach to talk about any mental health challenges that you have as a small business owner. We'll link to that in the show notes. You can also just Google New Access by Beyond Blue small business and you'll be able to find it. Let's get into today's quick tip episode.
As I said, this is a bit of a heavier one, so I'm not sure what will come up for you as you're listening to this. Everyone has different experiences, but I'm just going to talk through my experience in this space. Today I wanted to talk about breaking generational cycles, but in particular how your business can help you do that. I'm not going to get into super heavy stuff here. I'm going to talk about money, for example. One thing that we think about with business is it's helping my growth and everything else. We talk about leadership and growth as a business owner. You may even have accountability groups or Group Coaching programs that you're part of, and that's peer-to-peer support. One thing that doesn't always come up is how running a business is actually helping potentially to break generational cycles or to break generational traits that have been there and passed down in your family from maybe your parents or your grandparents or your great-grandparents. And to you and what running a business can do for the next generation.
Either if you have children around you, whether they're your children or somebody else's children, but you are in their proximity. It could be you are an auntie and uncle, some guardian or peer for that child, or it could be other people that are around you, family, friends who have kids and they're watching what you do. I think we don't often see ourselves as role models in a way for our community. We should start seeing ourselves like that because by running a business, and particularly running a business that doesn't break you, overwhelm you, or stress you out, but running a business where you can be in alignment with your values and make money and have time if you can have that trifecta, it can be incredibly eye-opening to the younger people around you.
Again, they don't have to be relatives, but people that are tuning in with you, watching what you're doing, watching how you live and how that can potentially break the cycle that can continue. For example, in my house when I was growing up, my parents did talk about money in a way, but when I look back and this is all through my own lens, this is my own experience, my siblings may have different experiences and of course, my parents would have different experiences because they were the parents and I was the child. But I was told things like, “Money doesn't grow on trees. If you want to get that money, you better be prepared to work, your off.” I was aware of how expensive things were. I also went to a top private school, which my parents scrimped and saved for and worked incredibly hard to get us there because they had a very strong value of education and they very much thought and believed in, and I agree with this, to get the best possible education, no one can ever take that education away from you.
Whereas if you are given material things, people can take those away or you could have a fire or whatever, you could lose them. But if you are given education, not just education in terms of academic education, but life, education, they also spent money that they did have on travel. Travel and school, that's where the bulk of their extra money went, or not even extra money, they scheduled and budgeted to be able to afford those things. I went to a school where I was incredibly aware that I was not from a family of the same wealth as most of my peers, a lot of my peers, their parents, and their mother didn't work, but my mom did. They also had multiple Mercedes-Benz and BMWs and all the nice fancy cars. We certainly did not have that.
They also lived in some of the most affluent areas of Melbourne. I did not. My parents were middle class, I'm not saying, I had this hard gritty childhood. I didn't at all. They gave us everything. We went camping, we travelled all of the things. My mother was an incredible baker. She would we would have these incredible celebrations for our birthday. I'm not saying, I went without or anything else like that. I just want to make that clear. I had a very lovely privileged childhood and I also come from a white background. I'm saying there's a huge amount of privilege that I have been shown in my life. I'm just talking about some of the attitudes towards money that were presented to me and that then I took on as well.
I'm thinking also then of breaking that with my son. I saw my parents work very hard. My parents often work shift work. My mom was a psychiatric nurse in a maternity hospital. She would work Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, and sometimes another shift overnight. She would leave the house at seven or eight o'clock in the evening. She would come home at eight o nine o'clock in the morning. She would be up all night and then she would be sleeping part of that the next afternoon. My dad worked in different places. He worked at RMIT and then he worked at the Port Porter Melbourne Authority. He had a good role there, a senior role, but worked shift work. He worked 6:00 AM till 6:00 PM or it would be like that for a while and then they would swap and then he would work the other way around, 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM.
They were working shift, I mean, shift work for anyone who's worked shift work, it stuffs up a lot of stuff. My dad had insomnia, he had sleep apnea. He had other things going on, but they were doing so much to give us the best possible start in life. We were always aware of that. My siblings and I were very aware that they are working really hard. We were also immigrants to this country. Everyone who is listening and who was also an immigrant will probably understand that you have this expectation that your parents have sacrificed a lot to get you here. They have given up their friends and their friendships and their family and everything that they were accustomed to coming to the other side of the world to give you incredible opportunities. you have a lot of that on your shoulders.
My perception was always, “If I want to earn good money, I had better be ready to work 24/7.” I still see that with lots of people that I know that I've grown up with who have that mentality that there's no way to get a good amount of money and also have time off to be able to finish your day at two o'clock in the afternoon if you feel like it, to go for a walk in the middle of the day. I was presented with the, “If you want to get a good job and you want to get a house and you want to do all these tick the boxes, then you need to work hard.” And that hard work is just part and parcel of it. I don't want to necessarily say to my kids, “Money is just flowing into us all the time. You don't have to put any effort in.”
I don't want to say that, but I want to show my kids that it is possible to enjoy your business and enjoy what you do. Not even if you're in business, but if you're employed, to enjoy that role, to be passionate about it, curious about it, creative, and still make money. The other thing that I guess was drummed into me, not necessarily by my parents, but more so by society and the school that I went to, is that creativity doesn't equal cash. That's another thing that I was brought up very much and I think a lot of people that I know, peers and friends were the same, where if you do an arts degree, it's not going to end up giving you anything. If you're an artist, if you're a writer, if you're a playwright, if you make music, whatever it is, it doesn't pay the bills.
I had that mentality growing up. I always wanted to be an author. I wanted to write and write fiction and do all these things. I thought I'd be on Oprah's Book Club early on when I was like 21. One can dream. But I had that perception that a real job would be a doctor or a lawyer or those things. That is also something that I want to break with my business and show my sons in particular. It is possible to do something that you are passionate about, to be creative and make enough money to support your family and do all the things that you want to do in life. I'd urge you from today's episode to think about some of the perceptions and thoughts and narratives that you were shown in your childhood or growing up in your family or your community that you want to not pass on to the next generation.
I want my children to feel like they can do whatever they want to. I have to say, my mom always used to say, “You can do whatever you put your mind to. Always.” And later in life, as I became an adult, my mom apologized because they made me give up drama and art even though I was really good at both, not so good at art, but I was good at drama and I love drama. But they made me give it up because when I went through high school, those subjects weren't given high credibility. They weren't if you did maths and sciences, you were given a higher score or something at the end of year 12. My parents made me give those up even though I loved them. And I ended up doing economics and chemistry, which I hated.
Economics wasn't so bad, but chemistry completely flunked. My mom apologized later in life. She apologized multiple times and said, “I'm so sorry that I made you give those things up. I was trying to do the best that I knew at the time”, and that is exactly what my parents were trying to do. None of this is a slight on my parents. They had incredible parents. They did the best that they could at the time with the knowledge that they had. However, I want my children, if they want to be a photographer, be a photographer, be the best photographer that they can possibly be. If you want to be something else super creative. If you want to go to drama school, go to drama school. If you want to be a scientist, be a scientist. If you want to be a doctor, awesome.
But I'm not going to take those things that were necessarily put on me and I'm going to show through my business to my sons that there is another way. What I would ask you to think about today, is to consider the generational cycles that have gone on in your family. I also know why my parents had those. They were children of the Second World War. They both had things going on in their parents' lives that contributed to that. And then back obviously Ireland has a very fraught history with the British and everything else. I know where those things have come from, but I also know which stories and narratives and amazing things I want to take from my parents into my own journey with my kids and which things I want to leave behind.
I'd be thinking about how is your business playing a role in breaking those generational cycles. As I said before, I'm not a mental health expert if thinking about this has brought up stuff, please go and talk to somebody, talk to your GP, and go and get some mental health help. Again, if you're in Australia and you run a small business and you have an ABN, you are eligible for the New Access by Beyond Blue program, which allows you 10 sessions with a mental health coach. And we'll link to that in the show notes, which you'll be able to find at mydailybusiness.com/podcast/325. Thank you so much for reading.
