Episode 355: 3 ways to move past your fears
In this episode, Fiona provides insights into overcoming fear and uncertainty in business. She also shares three key strategies for managing fear. Tune in!
Topics discussed in this episode:
Introduction
The parallels between the fear associated with Halloween and the uncertainties in business
Three strategies for managing fear in business
Encouragement to embrace uncertainty as a part of the business journey
Conclusion
Get in touch with My Daily Business
Resources and Recommendations mentioned in this episode:
Welcome to episode 355 of the My Daily Business podcast. Today is a quick tip episode, and if you are feeling uncertain or anxious or a little overwhelmed or feeling like you're a bit of an imposter, then this one is definitely going to be helpful. Before we get stuck into that, I want to acknowledge the traditional owners and custodians of the land on which I record this podcast, and that is the Wurrung and Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation. And I pay my respects to their elders, past, and present, and acknowledge that sovereignty has never been ceded. Let's get into today's quick tip episode.
If you are reading this in real-time, it is Tuesday, the 31st of October, 2023, which means it is Halloween. My youngest son is obsessed with Halloween. He is just obsessed with zombies, which are ghosts. He calls them ghosters. It's just cute, but he just loves the whole idea, and he has always loved being a little scared, but also excited and very much sees things that make him feel scary. He sees something at the shops that's a little scary. Or if it's a scary book, he seems to be gravitating towards those types of things more so than say his brother. It's just interesting to watch that develop when you have that sense of like, fear is fun in a way.
I want to talk about how you get past your own fears because it is Halloween and it's all scary and all the other things, but in business, it's such an uncertain thing to be in, and a lot of people don't last in business. Because of that uncertainty, you are constantly being bombarded with uncertainty. What worked for you in marketing this week may not work next week. What worked for you last year in your campaigns may not work. What worked for you in terms of sales and the product that you had may not work next week. There are no guarantees in business.
However, learning to embrace that uncertainty and almost see it as fun as my son does in terms of scary things can be helpful. Today in this quick tip episode, I just thought I'd run through three things that can potentially alleviate some of the fears that you may have around business or around particular parts of your business right now. This is not to say that your fears aren't genuine or real, or that you don't feel those things, but it's just three tactics that can help you when it comes to feeling uncertain or feeling a bit scared in your business. The first one is to challenge that fear. Where does that fear come from? Are you clear on what you're scared of? And is it just, I haven't done this before, there's a sense of I don't know how this is going to go, or is it a genuine fear that I've done this in the past and it hasn't worked and what if I just repeat that same mistake?
It's challenging. Where does that come from, that idea? What does it mean? What are we fearful of? And then is it more just a case of it's new or is it I'm worried about the past? Sometimes just challenging that and sitting with it and thinking, where is this coming from? Also, has this shown up before in my business, which is why I am fearful, or is it something brand new and I'm putting myself out of my comfort zone? Let’s say for example, you're going to speak at an event for the first time, or you're going on a podcast or you're pitching a book, or you're creating a new group coaching program, or creating something that you haven't done before because that is just a natural part of life. Anytime we are faced with something new, most people will have a sense of fear around that.
Even if it's overshadowed by more excitement than fear, you'll still have that fear. It's completely natural, but it's challenging. Like what is it that is coming up for me in this fear? What is causing me to be fearful? That's the first one. Challenge it. Where does it come from? Is it something that you've proven in your business before or is it just I'm doing something new? That's a little scary, which is natural for everyone. The second thing is to determine the worst-case scenario. I often used to say determine the best-case scenario. That's an amazing way to think about it. But sometimes when you're fearful, imagining the absolute worst, you realize it's not as bad as you think it will be. For example, let's say I write this second book, and for whatever reason it doesn't hit the numbers that the first book did, that's okay.
It's still going to hit somebody, it's still going to reach somebody who might need to read it. Also, I have created the product, and that journey in itself has been eye-opening and stretching and all the good things, but also I've been paid. You get an advance. That's the best part of working with a traditional publisher. Hopefully, the book sells, but the publisher has taken that risk and they've paid me for the work to write that book. I hope that the book sells well, just like the first book did. But imagining the worst-case scenario is like, if that happened, it would suck. I would feel pretty bad, but I'd live, I'd keep going. I faced bigger fears and bigger obstacles and overcame things bigger than that. I'm hoping I'm saying all of this something not gigantically bad doesn't happen with that book, fingers crossed.
But it's just going down that path of like, what's the worst that could happen? Could I face that? Have I faced something that's harder than that in my past? The first one is to challenge the fear, and two, to work out what's the worst-case scenario. What's the absolute worst? When I started my business, I said to my husband, I'll give this 12 months. If it doesn't work, if it all comes crashing down, if nobody hires me, if we're just making no money from it, I will go and get another job. I've worked in cafes for many years of my life. I worked at Kohl's, the supermarket for a long time. I have done lots of different jobs, I'm happy to go and get another job wherever it is and work my way back up from the corporate job that I'd left.
That was also a way of looking at, “What if this doesn't work?” That's a fear, but also challenging it and going through the whole process of like, what's the absolute worst that can happen? Could I live with that? It is so challenging going through the worst-case scenario. The third thing I'd say, and I know this can be a little harsh or confronting, is just people don't care as much as you think. I know that sounds harsh, but I know that so many times when I've worked with clients on say, a new website or rebranding or them getting rid of somebody in their team or anything else, sometimes we can build it up to be this gigantic thing when in the case of let's say a brand new website, it's exciting for you, and particularly if that website is functioning a lot better for your business.
But a lot of the time you share it with people and they might say, “Congratulations, it looks lovely.” And then they just move on to the next thing in their life. They don't care that much. Likewise, let's say you have to go and do some public speaking for the first time, which is a huge fear for people, but is an incredible way of getting your business and your brand out there, particularly your personal brand, your figurehead, profiling, all of that authority building. That can be a difficult thing, but the worst-case scenario that most people can think of is that you draw a blank. When you're in the middle of the stage, you are looking at everybody and you don't know what you're saying. That's one of the biggest fears.
I have lived that fear. I have drawn a blank at the start of opening an event and I was opening it and my mind just went completely blank and I just blanked. I had practised and practised and it went completely blank, but I recovered. I got over it. I recovered, yes, I felt like an idiot. I probably berated myself in my head more than I should have, but I got over it and I've done many speaking gigs since then, and I know that the worst has happened and I've survived. It's thinking about that whole concept of am I allowing this to be a bigger thing than it is. Also, remember most people don't care. The people that came to that event and saw me falter for, I mean, it felt like forever, but it was probably about 30 seconds or a minute at most.
None of them remarked. Nobody ever remarked on that. When I said to a couple of friends in the audience, “Oh my God, I can't believe I did that.” They were like, “I didn't even notice if you hadn't told me.” I just thought you were pausing because people were coming into people were coming in late to sit down. That's what I thought you were doing. I had no idea that you didn't know what you were saying. We can often imagine that it's this bigger thing that everybody's going to notice and all these such sorts of things when they don't, they don't care. They've got other things to get on with. Those are three things I hope you can keep in mind if you're fearful about stuff. I know even with this podcast, I was worried I would put it out and people would be like, “Oh my gosh, her voice is so nasally.”
I've had three operations on my nose, I have sinus problems. That's what I had in my head. I have to say, feel free to be the first one, but in 350 plus episodes, thousands of downloads, hundreds of thousands of downloads, we've never had somebody that's emailed us to say, “Your voice is so nasally annoying,” and maybe we will maybe after this. You're like, she is quite nasally. But that was my biggest fear. People don't care. They don't care if your content is good. They don't mind what your voice sounds like. I listen to podcasts all the time where perhaps the person's voice is a little shrill or jarring in a way, but it's the content that keeps me coming back and being like, “Oh yeah,” and then you just get used to stuff. Those are the three things that I hope can help challenge go down the worst-case scenario, and pretty much you'll realize that you can deal with it and then realize no one cares except you.
That can sound harsh, but it's true. I hope those three things can help you if you're fearful. If you do celebrate Halloween and you're with kids and everything, just have a great time tonight. Otherwise, if you don't, then that is fine too. On that note, I will leave it there for now, and if you find this useful, we would love it so much. If you could just hit subscribe or hit the review stars, whether you're listening on Apple or Spotify so that other people can find this podcast. Thank you so much for reading and I'll see you next time.
