Episode 363: Trust the experts?
In this episode, Fiona talks about the importance of trusting experts. She also discusses the common challenges of letting go of defensiveness and embracing curiosity. Tune in!
Topics discussed in this episode:
Introduction
Trusting experts and the discomfort
Dealing with resistance and ego
Emphasizing collaboration and trust
Encouraging self-compassion
Conclusion
Get in touch with My Daily Business
Resources and Recommendations mentioned in this episode:
Welcome to episode 363 of the My Daily Business Podcast. Today you're reading a quick tip episode, and that's where I share a tip, tool or tactic that you can implement immediately in your business. This one is a little personal, stay tuned. Before I get stuck into that, I want to acknowledge the traditional owners and custodians of the land on which I record this podcast, and that is the Wurrung and Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation. I pay my respects to their elders, past, and present, and acknowledge that sovereignty has never been ceded. The other thing I wanted to mention is that it is getting very close to the gifting season, end-of-year gifts, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year's. If you are looking for a gift for your business bestie for anyone in your life who has a business or maybe a gift for yourself that you want someone else to purchase, then I would send them the link to My Daily Business Shop.
If it's you buying for someone else, then go and check out our shop yourself. You can find all sorts of things from short courses, eBooks, online templates for content and bigger courses. One-on-one coaching and Group Coaching. We do have gift vouchers available as well. You can find all of that over at My Daily Business Shop. We've many times had people buy a gift, a surprise for somebody, which is a coaching session. If you have any questions about how that all works or if you don't want to buy it online, you want to go through where we invoice you or some other way no one can find out before you give it to them. You can just email us at hello@mydailybusiness.com. Let’s get into today's quick tip episode.
I am recording this. I'm just looking at my podcast tracker our month, a full month before this is going to come out. I am smack bang in the middle of the editing process of my second book. This idea just came to me, and I thought, “You know what? I'm going just to jump on and record an episode.” What is the tip, tool or tactic? I think the tip here is to trust the experts and trust the process. What happens when you write a book, if you're with a traditional publisher, is that you write the manuscript. You usually have written a chapter or two for them to look at and review before you write the whole thing. Then you write the whole thing, send it in, and that is usually when you get your second payment of your advance.
It's exciting, but then the real hard work begins. Hard work is to write the book. I get that. But then there's all these checking and facts and questions, and it's scary because it's giving your work to somebody else to basically edit and critique and go through and question. That can be a difficult process, particularly if you think that you are good at what you're doing or that you have expertise or experience in this matter. What's happening is I'm going through the edits that the wonderful editor that they have assigned to this book is doing, and quite rightly, she's asking questions and she's highlighting sections being like, this is repetitive, do we need this? Would you reword this?
You're like, ”Reword it, that sounds a lot better.” If you just rephrase it it's a bit more of an active voice rather than a passive voice. All of those things are fine. I have worked in media. I've been an editor at publications, and I've been a book editor, I understand it's nothing personal. It's just, that we need to cut the word count, or this would sound better this way, or paraphrase, or you don't need that section, all of that. I'm fine with the questions though, I find myself getting a little defensive and being like, ”No, I don't agree with that.” Then I thought, “No, Fiona, this isn't expert.” This person knows what they're doing. They've been doing it for ages. The book publisher is excited for them to work on the book.
There has to be this level at which you just go, I'm going to trust the process and I'm going to trust the experts. I know that this is a hard thing to get your head around. I have been with some wonderful clients that when we started working together, their resistance came up, especially when we looked at, you're saying that the business isn't working, but I see that you're not doing XYZ, and that can be hard for people to hear. When we look at your outlaying, all of this money, but really what has that brought you? “Hey, we went through this system and it's six months later and this isn't being implemented.” I get it that sometimes I can sound like a parent or like a school teacher.
I've had clients who have rallied against it. Then we've found a compromise. They then said later, “Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I was defensive at the start and resistant.” That is completely fine. That is part of my job to work with people. I'm not going to come in and be like, “This is all the things you need to change right now by tomorrow.” That's not how I work at all.
I also know that everyone has different ways of doing things. I'm not like, this is the only way because I just don't believe in that kind of teaching at all. I found myself coming up against this, and this isn't the first time I've come up against this when I've talked to all sorts of different experts. I just wanted to put it out there that if you are going through something right now, it could be that you're working with a financial planner for the first time.
It could be that you're working, maybe you've hired somebody to come in and do your marketing. Maybe you've hired somebody to take over your content. Maybe you've hired an agency to look after your ads and you were doing them in-house before. There's a level of having to go, “You know what? I'm going to trust the process. I'm going to trust the expert.” How can I do that in a way that's going to be good for everyone? I'm not saying that you shouldn't question anything, or that you should just lie down and let everything happen to you. Especially if you don't strongly don't agree with something. I know that sometimes when I'm looking at this thing, for example, there is an element of ego that is coming up as opposed to expertise. I am just being vulnerable and real and sharing this, no matter how much I know that in my coaching and with people, I have to respect that they may have some resistance at the start of work, particularly if we're doing something that they've never had to work on before or that they've never had to show those numbers or those data to somebody before, it can be scary.
As much as I know that I'm human obviously and have my ego that comes into things, I'm taking a moment to stop getting defensive, stop resisting and just be like and get curious instead of combative. That is my tip for today. If you are dealing with anyone right now or a new situation or something where you haven't had to do that before, please go easy on yourself, but also go easy on the other person. They're there to help you. This is a team, and in this case, I'm sure this woman is absolutely lovely. I have yet to meet her. It's all just been on email, but everyone is working on this book to make it the best it can be. I have to kind of push my ego to the side and be like, “I trust them, they know best and I'm going to go with it.” I just wanted to put that out there and let you know that if you're going through it, one, it's completely normal, but also two, see where you are being combative because of an ego as opposed to being curious through education. I'll leave it there for now. If you want to go through this in text format, you can always find it at mydailybusiness.com/podcast/363. Thank you so much for reading. I'll see you next time.
