Episode 396: Jessie Frances of Cappuccinos and Consignment
In this episode, Fiona chats with the fabulous Jesse Frances from Cappuccinos and Consignment where she shares her insights on content creation, self-care, and building a business. They also talked about how Jesse's authenticity and passion shine through in her approach to style, entrepreneurship, and connecting with her audience. Tune in!
You'll Learn How To:
Authenticity in content creation
Balancing personal life with content creation
Embracing imperfection and authenticity on social media
The love-hate relationship with social media
Handling negative comments and criticism online
Understanding the deeper meaning behind hurtful messages
Prioritizing self-care and personal style amidst busy schedules
The importance of normalizing self-expression and personal style
Overcoming self-doubt and betting on oneself in entrepreneurship
Finding inspiration and mentorship in unexpected places
Reflecting on personal growth and taking leaps of faith in business
Get in touch with My Daily Business
Connect and get in touch with My Daily Business:
I just knew that it was something that I wanted to do, so I did it, and I kept my momentum because I've always shown up as my authentic self. I've never presented my life as perfect, so I don't have that pressure to be perfect that I think some people may have, and that makes them stop along the way. I'm also not afraid to talk to myself. That's the biggest thing I see. We get so caught up on vanity metrics with regard to social media. How many people liked my photo? How many people watched? When I started posting, about three people were watching my videos every single morning. But I didn't care. I kept showing up. A lot of people will not show up if they don't think people are watching.
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Welcome to episode 396 of the My Daily Business Podcast. Today is an interview episode, and honestly, this is one of the most favourite interviews I've done in the entire lifetime of this podcast. Almost 400 episodes, and almost 200 interviews. I have to say, this is one of my all time favourites. Before we get stuck into that, I want to acknowledge where I'm coming from and acknowledge the traditional owners and custodians of this land. And that is the Wurrung and Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation. And I pay my respects to their elders, past, and present, and acknowledge that sovereignty has never been ceded.
The other thing I wanted to mention is that if you are keen to get a group with your marketing for 2024 and beyond, you can find all the information for our signature marketing course at marketingforyoursmallbusiness.com. You can take that course anytime, but twice a year. We do offer a nine week live coaching component, and that kicks off next week if you're listening to this in real time. You can still sign up at marketingforyoursmallbusiness.com and be part of that where we go through each module every week with a live coaching call. At the end of the nine weeks, you present your marketing plan to the rest of the team and myself for feedback. Let's get into today's interview episode.
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I've been trying to think of when it was that I started following today's guest on Instagram, and I think it was probably about a year ago, and I'm not sure how, it might've just come up on the explore feed. I found this woman who is today's guest, and I just fell in love instantly. I just liked her sense of humour. I liked her fashion, her style. It's a huge part of her brand, and I just liked how real she was and how fabulous she is. Fabulous is a perfect word to describe her. Over time, I sent a few DMs, and she replied, “As you do” and you are social on social media. And then late last year, I think it was, I found out that she offered coaching and consults. I decided that I would put myself forward and have one of these sessions with her.
I didn't know what to expect, and I have to say that I went in there not having an idea of what we would talk about and maybe what I would get from it. I came out at the end of that hour and I just felt so refreshed, so revived. I just felt like somebody understood what I was going through and not just understood, but had the tactics to help me go further in what it was. My guest today is Jessie Frances, and she's the founder of Cappuccinos and Consignment. As we talk through today, her background is in fashion, and this is a large part of her business. When I booked in for that consult, she had talked about working with women who felt they'd lost their mojo or lost their sense of style, or didn't know where they were.
I've worked in fashion for a long time. It was previously starting my own business. I was head of marketing for a large fashion retailer, an accessories retailer. I worked in fashion before that, I used to edit magazines in the fashion industry. I've always been interested in style. I don't necessarily at all think I'm like super stylish or super fashionable, but I've, I've loved experimenting over the years with earrings and clothing and glasses and different things. I am interested in it. Over the last few years, I have had to be honest and transparent here, especially with Covid. I went into Covid, I just had a six month old baby. My father had just passed away at the end of 2019. And I went into 2020. Firstly, I am excited about this new year, this new decade. I turned 40 that year and I was all excited.
Had a trip planned to New York. I was going to do all these fabulous things. My book was coming out, my first book and I was so excited about everything that lay ahead. And then, of course, COVID hit. For the next two years, I lived in Melbourne, we were in full on lockdowns. It just, I got into a habit of basically wearing oversized dresses and leggings and tracksuit pants and T-shirts, and a lot of band T-shirts and a lot of old T-shirts. And then just got into a habit as well of putting my hair up in a messy bun and not caring as much. And there sometimes, especially as moms and working moms, you can feel a sense of guilt for, but I want to put effort into this, or I want to put money into this, or I'm going to invest my time into this, as opposed to getting the kids ready or doing this or doing that.
When I found Jessie, I had taken back some of that, but I wanted to talk to her about this is where I'm at. I've had a few years of just dressing a bit this, as opposed to taking an interest in this. What I got from Jessie was so much more than, this some style advice. She gave me some great style advice, places to shop, different labels that I hadn't thought about and different ways of shopping for my wardrobe and what I already owned. But more it was this sense of why are you holding yourself back from that? And going through those questions and going through everything from grief around losing both my parents working through things. Jessie has lost her mom as well, so she fully understood that.
But I think as a business owner, and particularly as someone who works by themselves at home, I mean, I have people in my team, but we don't work together. I don't have to get dressed up and go to an office every day. I don't have to put that effort into myself. Sometimes over time that can come out in different ways. Jessie helped me nail what it was that was missing about how I was looking after myself and showing up for myself. Whether it was about putting on things like my favourite top or wearing this bag or dressing out. It was more about how I put myself first and how I prioritise that as a working person, as a mom, and as somebody who has lots of clients who need things. It was just such an amazing session that I had with her.
After that, we got connected in the DMS, and then I said, I would love to have you on the podcast and to come in and share your journey in business and also all these tips and ideas, but in addition to the style and you know how to get your mojo back, we also talk about Jessie's content because she is a content creator. She also teaches people about content creation. She has amassed more than 50 million views across social media. She has huge fans on TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram. We talk about how you get started with that. Particularly if you're somebody who's maybe less confident or hasn't been showing up for themselves lately, like how do you get in front of a camera? What do you talk about? How do you show up consistently? What does she think of the different platforms?
We talk about all of that. We also talked about Jessie moving away from her previous job, which was in government, and how working for that job helped her create a blog and use her commute time to start a business. She didn't know that she was starting a business at the time, she was just sharing goodness. And then it started a business. And we talk about what has that been like and and just so many things. Jessie is an absolutely beautiful soul. I'm so glad we connected and I look forward to hearing your feedback on today's podcast episode. Here is my interview with the wonderful and fabulous Jessie Frances of Cappuccinos and Consignment.
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Welcome Jessie to the podcast. I'm so excited about having you on. How are you?
Thank you for having me. This is such a pleasure. Thank you so much.
I'm so excited. And ever since I have come across you on social media, which is how I first found you, I have just been a bit obsessed with everything that you do and I think you're fantastic. But for those who have yet to discover cappuccinos and consignment, can you tell us about your journey getting into business and what Cappuccinos and Consignment is like, your background, I guess?
Yes, absolutely. It was all an accident. This was one of those things that was supposed to fill my time. I started Cappuccinos and Consignment, which has evolved into a business after remarrying. After I got remarried, my husband moved me a bit far from my life, from my friends, and my family, and I was commuting to work every single day. It was the most dreadful, longest commute ever. I needed to do something that would just fill up some time so that I wouldn't resent him for taking me away and me having to commute so far. I just started blogging and it was just me sharing very random thoughts that I had no clue anyone outside of my late mother and a few friends were interested in. But turns out there are a lot of people interested in my random thoughts.
Yes, including us over here in Australia.
It started as a blog, just highlighting different things like how I travelled on a budget, and how to make the most out of your weekends if you can't travel. Just sharing tips that I shared that I would do in my everyday life. And then I slowly started posting on Instagram, and when I did start posting on Instagram, it was more so what I was wearing to the office because I was commuting every day and I was waking up at about 3:30 or so because my train would depart at 4:25. I had to wake up super early to get dressed, and I knew that I was up and dressed before most people were. I started posting what I was wearing in the hopes of inspiring other people to get dressed that day for the office. It just went from there. More people started following me. I started getting questions about, “I work in this field, I don't know what I want to wear. Can you send me a few ideas?” If I send you pictures if I give you a small allowance, can you shop for me? And it just organically evolved.
Was your role that you were commuting, and I cannot believe you got up at that time. I've got up many times early for work. I've always seemed to live far from where I worked. When I was in London, I remember I used to catch the 6:43 train and I used to have maybe it was like 40 minutes to get there. I'd leave home before 6:00 AM I thought that was early. You are like the next level early. Was that role related to fashion in any way that you had, like the office jobs?
No, it was not related at all. It was the exact opposite of creativity and fashion. My background is in fashion design and art history, but life has a way of taking you places where you just never knew you would end up case in point here at Cappuccinos and Consignment. But no, that was a federal government position. I was working for the federal government and I did that every single day because this was predated teleworking which was more acceptable working from home. We were in the office every single day and it was not creative at all.
It's obvious to anyone who looks at your Instagram or any of your socials or comes into contact with you even now. Jessie is recording this at night, we're in different parts of the world and you just gave me a sneak peek into what you're wearing to bed. I have to say it's the most fabulous, fabulous outfit I've ever seen. It's like, you're just doing that for bed. That love and I hope you don't mind that I just mentioned that.
No worries.
Fabulous. Your style is just next level and this knowledge of style. And you said you studied art history and fashion. Is that what you said? Did you study?
Yes, that's correct.
You have this understanding of these things both theoretical and just your innate knowledge of it. Where did that come from, like even to study it? Were your family hugely into style and representing themselves through fashion? Was that just a part of your life and that's why you then studied it and how you've come back to it? Or where did that come from?
It was something that I just had, I was always into style, into fashion, into textiles. I always loved fabric since I was a little girl. No one in my family ever entered the arts. No one in my family studied fashion. When I said I wanted to go to school for fashion, me being a first-generation college bound kid at the time, it was like just scary for everyone. It's like, if you're going to college if you're going to be the first person to go to college, you are not sure you want to do something a little more stable. You don't want to go into law, a doctor, a nurse, a teacher. I'm like, “No, just, just fashion. That's what I want to do.” It terrified everyone. But I've always been around style. They weren't necessarily, I'd say intentional with styling.
They weren't self-professed, fashionistas. But I just think about my grandmother who, when I was a little girl, I can say I had an authentic grandmother. I know we chatted about this before having older parents when I was 10 or so, my grandmother was in her seventies or eighties. She had that very old world style that a lot of my peers, and their grandparents didn't have because they were so much younger. I remember the things that my grandmother would do. Like she always got dressed every single day. I never remember my grandmother working because she was well in her retirement when I was born. But she still got dressed every single day, even if she wasn't going anywhere if she just sat on the back porch or if she had to go mail a letter or buy stamps, she was always dressed.
It was mandatory weekends when I would stay with her, there wasn't an option to sleep in and stay in your pyjamas. We all had to get up and get dressed. And that has just always been instilled in me. That's why I left. When you referenced the gown that I was wearing, even my grandmother around the house, she always had nice house dresses as she would call them, which were just nice robes. And the fabric was always so luxurious, although I know it was thrifted or just something she'd had for years. But I saw so much style, but it wasn't style as in like, I never remember my grandmother shopping. I never remember going shopping with my grandmother or my mother, but they always had nice quality pieces and they were always dressed.
I love that. I love that so much. I can always picture it in my head, but also when you were talking, I thought my father was like that. He would get up at 6:00 AM and maybe I mentioned that to you when we were talking last time. He would get up at 6:00 AM, and no matter what the day was, he would have a freshly ironed shirt, he would have a singlet under his shirt, and he would be shaved and up and out. He never came to breakfast, I don't think, once in my life, in his pyjamas. He was up shower, get yourself ready, present yourself well for the day. And even with my son now, constantly, he just seems to get a mess on his face and he'll be going somewhere. I'm like, now I'm embarrassing him. But I'll be like taking pride in your appearance is a self-respect. Like that is showing up for yourself every day.
You're so great. Yes. And it's a lost art form now. Like, it is slowly losing its place in society. And it's sad.
It's sad. Also just that, we're going to get into it. But I love how you bring that into your work with people and, and all of this. Before we get into social media because you've just aced social media, how do you describe Cappuccinos and Consignment? Like if somebody says, what is your business? You've hinted at lots of things now, and you do a variety of things, but how do you describe what it is?
I describe it as the place you never knew you needed to be because it's so hard to capture. Like I still haven't worked on my elevator pitch. Perhaps that's something I can hire you for because I still don't have that because it's so much and it reflects who I am. I have yet to meet one person who, it's just one thing. We were so many things in our case, we're business owners, we're mothers, and we were once caretakers and children. We were like, we're just so dynamic. There are so many facets to what it is that we do. That's what Cappuccinos and Consignment is like. It is a total lifestyle. It's not just about travelling and pretty photos of my cappuccino flat lays. It's everything. It's a one stop shop.
I love how you say that. I feel like having been a client of yours, I feel like it's a place exactly what you said, but also to find yourself again. Because I think you're so good at helping people do that, whether it's stylistically and sartorially or personally and from an emotional level and all the things. It's fantastic. And maybe this is also why you have such a strong following on Instagram and TikTok and YouTube and you're across multiple platforms, as you said, you're also a mom, you're busy, you've got family, you've got other things going on and you travel and all of it. How did you get started on social media? I know you just mentioned before I started a blog and then I started showing up on Instagram because I think a lot of people struggle with just making a start and they think, I've got to have the perfect setup, or I've got to go to the perfect camera, or I can't do this until every single person's out of the house. And it's just not reality. Like with, especially if you've got young children and you've got to also do this as well as, so how did you do this? What has helped you keep up the momentum when you have so much other stuff going on in your life?
As you said, that's one of the issues I see every time. And I've also expanded to start giving one-on-one coaching calls for content creators. The biggest hurdle is starting, I'm not a harsh person, but it gets harsh when I say this. The reason so many people do not start is because they do not start and they don't want to. Has you stated we're always waiting for perfection. I tell people perfection is procrastination. If you are waiting for the perfect time, the perfect camera, the perfect name, the perfect background, and the perfect lighting, you are going to be waiting forever. What I see so often is people say that they're waiting for the best time, the perfect time, the right time. When they're just passing time. They don't want to do it because anything that we want to do, we do.
I wanted to get on social media if anyone took the time to go back to my old post, which I will never delete because that's a part of the journey. And I want people to see that because sadly with social media, one of the reasons so many people don't start is because what they see online from other people appears to be so perfect. A lot of people want you, once you get to a certain amount of subscribers or followers, you start to delete the awfulness that you once created. I still have it there. My first videos were awful. The audio was horrible. I had crazy filters because I didn't know what I was doing. It means it was a mess. Like I cringe looking at these, but I leave it there to show people that waiting for perfection is procrastination.
You don't want to do it. The biggest thing was just for me to start, I knew that I had to start. I'm also a firm believer in not investing a lot of money in anything until you know that you're going to keep it up. When I started content creation about three years ago, I was using a Samsung tent. I still had an Android. It was very old. Nothing about it says she's going to make it on social media. But I did it and it was a lot. I was commuting, and working full time. I have a son who has additional needs and I just knew that it was something that I wanted to do. I did it. I kept my momentum because I've always shown up as my authentic self.
I've never presented my life as perfect. I don't have the pressure to be perfect that I think some people may have. That makes them stop along the way. I'm also not afraid to talk to myself. That's the biggest thing I see. We get so caught up on vanity metrics with regard to social media. How many people liked my photo? How many people watched? When I started posting, about three people were watching my videos every single morning. But I didn't care. I kept showing up. A lot of people will not show up if they don't think people are watching. And that's where you fall off, you fall off chasing perfection and you fall off because you didn't go viral, you didn't get a lot of views, you didn't get a lot of likes. If that's what motivates you, it's going to be so hard for you to last on social media.
You can't see me. But I was just nodding along to everything you were saying. Especially when you said some people won't post if they're not posting to a huge crowd like it's almost this simultaneous, they're scared because people will see them, but they also won't do it for the smaller amount of people, which would probably be less scary to be like, there are only people anyway.
You get it. Yes. I tell people that all the time. I said this is the time for you to post when no one is watching. Practice, practice, practice. Yes. Because when the big people do come, you're going to freeze. You're not going to have any resistance or anything at that point. Just post.
Just post, it's just a habit. I always didn't say that. I have an email that goes out every Sunday night and it goes to thousands of small business owners. But when I started, it went to nine people that I'd never met because I just put this at tinyletter.com, which was like a place where you could start gathering people's email addresses if you didn't have a website. I put that in my Instagram and I had nine people, and I still sometimes repurpose those early emails because they were good enough that I can repurpose them to thousands of people now. But I was like, I'm going to show up for the nine people, even if it never grows, there are nine people out there that could maybe use some help. And then you just get in a habit. Like, I got in a habit of writing every single week no matter what.
Now it's grown and grown. But I think that you're so right. If you don't start, just start because otherwise, you're never going to subtly overnight get this success if you don't go and start. On that you talked about how you offer coaching for content creators and your other coaching as well, I did some coaching with you. How did you know that you are gathering this audience we'll get into brand collaborations in a second, but you're gathering this and you're doing things. At what point did you think, I'm going to go from maybe people giving me a random message on Instagram and helping them to, this is going to be a paid thing and I know you've got a subscription model and membership and other things. How did that all evolve? At what point did you go, this is a line in the sand, this is now a business.
Yes. That happened when it stopped being a one-off. As my platform grew, I started getting the same questions over and over. And not even questions. It was a lot of the same comments because again, I started just posting outfits. It was just all fashion, a little travel. I always spoke about finance, but I didn't think it was motivational. I was just showing people what I was doing in my life. And that made it easy for me to create content. I'm going to work, so I'll record, if I'm travelling, I'll record, if I'm budgeting, I'll record. But I started getting comments. Based on my lifestyle, my ability to show up as my authentic self. I couldn't grasp that because in my head it's like, who else would I show up as? It didn't connect, but I started most of the comments that I get, although I'm deemed a style content creator, one of many facets of what I do, very few comments are based solely on what it is that I'm wearing.
The comments are always with regards to, I love seeing you follow your dreams. As a mother and a wife, at the time when I was caring for my mother who was terminally ill, people loved seeing that, despite everything I had going on, I still took time for myself. I still found the bright light, so to speak, that I always found a way of showing up and just radiating, just inspiration and positivity. And then it just went from there. People would joke and say things, I wish I could have a one-on-one call with you, I feel like I could think better. I could start dreaming bigger. And it just started as jokes. I eventually said, you know what? I'm going to do this. Let me put it out there offering one-on-one calls and let's see what happens. And it went well.
I love it so much that it's just been such an organic blow the whole time and you've just heard. You're observing and all of that. I know for sure, like when I did the coaching with you, yes I was enamoured by your style and everything else, but it was more your energy and your honesty and just like, this is what I've gone through in life. I came to you too, I didn't even know what I wanted from that session. I was just like, I didn't know. And then we got talking and I came out of that session and I cried and I'd laughed and I just felt so good. I've sent you messages since of like little things where I was like, “I never wear that.”
It's in my wardrobe. I never wear it. And you were like, “Just wear it to the supermarket.” And it was like every day. we talked about and I'm so sorry that you've lost your mom and I lost my mom and we were talking about how life is short and we've got to just show up as who we are and, and where the beautiful thing. Don't wait for this perfect day this perfect moment or this perfect event. It was just amazing. I understand how so many other people are very attracted to all the things that you offer. Let's talk about then this audience that you've grown and the business and you've done collaborations with brands like The RealReal, Unilever and Espresso, these huge brands highlight your versatility and your expertise. How did those partnerships come about and what advice would you have for other people who are maybe growing their audience and are thinking, I'd love to get into brand partnerships, but I could never work with such big brands like that?
That too was organic, just me and the platform being Cappuccinos and Consignment regarding The RealReal. I've done other partnerships with consignment shops as well. But that was easy because that's all I talk about for the most part about my luxury goods, I am so into sustainability and because of my background in fashion, I know quality and I know that just because it's designer does not mean that it's quality. That always led me to vintage, whether that's vintage clothing or vintage designer goods. And most consignment places have a lot of vintage bags. That's how that collaboration started with the consignment shops. And the lawn dress reached out to me because of my sustainability approach, because I wear my clothes over and over. As I meet, however, I refer to my followers mention that as well, that we love that you re-wear your clothes.
You are a real person, you wear again what you are wearing, wear again what you have purchased. I would sometimes talk about, this is a shirt that I've had for 15 years and people couldn't believe that I still had a shirt for that long. I would share laundering tips that parlayed to the long dress and espresso. I make my coffee every morning. But that was even an accident because I had a manual espresso machine that I would use and I would do my frothing, and grind my beans. But once I got married and started getting up at 3:45, I didn't have time for any of that. I did not have time for the slow living, slow roast. The husband surprised me with an espresso. It's like unofficially becoming a part of my brand, which I need to create that divide.
That's how it happened. One of those things is if you naturally use products if you have your own, I'd say style with the things that you enjoy, the things that you like and you show it often it becomes organic. Even if the brands don't reach out to you. You being able to say, here are posts, I have been using your products for six months. I have shown your product. When you receive messages from your followers saying, I bought that cup because I saw you use it. Save those things. When you do reach out to brands, you can show that you do have influence. It happens naturally, especially if you are someone who I'd say has a routine, you use these products all the time and then that shows your audience that it's real. When they see a sponsored post from you using these brands, they're not blindsided. I've never seen Jessie use that before. All of a sudden she's using this, when you use things often before it's paid your audience, can see that and they believe it.
That is true. It's just another organic thing, but you are part of it, if anyone follows you, they'll know that when you at stories, you often have making a coffee in the morning and you're talking over the top and narrating whatever you're up to for the day and you've also got the sound of the coffee and everything else and you have these beautiful caps and it all looks very lovely. Has that helped in terms of content, like having a routine, like, okay now I'm filming the coffee every morning and I do my narration over the top and I've got the text and that's a piece of content? Or is that just like, this is just everything that I do so it's just natural for me to do it? Or does that make sense?
Because sometimes when people are starting with content, I'm often, I'll often say create something that you can do. You can keep the frequency up. For me, writing on the Sunday email was the first thing that I could do easily because I've been a journalist for a long time. Writing is very natural and easy. I wasn't trying to do a YouTube video when I didn't know about filming or anything like that. I was trying to do a piece of content that I could do because it was natural to me. I could keep that up and then I could expand into different things.
That makes sense. I tell people that content creation shouldn't be creating, just record what you're doing and that's how you become sustainable. If it is something that you are already doing you don't have to set aside so much time to create, so to speak. You're just capturing. For the most part, all of my content is me capturing what I'm already doing in life. If the camera was not rolling, I'm still going to have my single shot of espresso in the morning. If the camera isn't rolling, I'm still going to tussle with my toddler. That's about what dress she's going to wear. If the camera isn't rolling, I'm still going to be in Paris. It is easier if you just capture what you are already creating in your life. I initially started when I would do my espresso videos, I would have music over it.
But with that, you run into issues. Especially once my audience grew because of songs that I'm able to use in the States, my Mezame in Paris can't hear it if I'm playing a song that's a big hit from when I used to live in South Africa, my here in the States. It just became too like it became too much law involved. I just started talking and I like that better. One, I don't have to edit. That takes so much time. Those coffee videos that I would record every morning and have the jazzy tunes over it are so time consuming. But chatting with you all now gives us a closer connection because you know what I have going on during the day, I can talk to you all, you can hear the screaming baby in the back, and just random things happening in my life. It's less perfect I should say. And people love that. People love feeling like you are a real person. I hear your baby screaming. I hear your teenage son looking for his shoe. I hear your husband in the back yelling, telling you to Lock the door because he's leaving. It's a real life. And people love that. I love this for me because I don't have to edit. After I prepare my espresso, I can enjoy it now because I just posted that video.
Yes. I love it. I love anything that's easy to breathe.
Yes.
Because that's also going to help people not procrastinate and think about it being perf perfect. Just get it out there. And of course, we'll link to all your social media in case anyone doesn't know you and they can start having a look and studying and seeing what you do and seeing maybe what they could do in theirs. Your Instagram presence has amassed more than 50 million views and it showcases your wit and your humour your maximalist closet and your luxury vintage savviness. What do you love about social media?
Also are there things that you dislike about it? And then how do you try and focus on the things that you love and not the things that you dislike? Because pretty much every business owner I've ever met and I work with, I would say a lot of people in their thirties, forties, and fifties. A lot of people like myself, I'm in my forties, I didn't grow up with social media, I didn't grow up with the internet. There is this love hate, there are lots that I love about it and it's very creative. And then some things are exhausting about it. What do you love about social media? What do you not like and how do you try and do more of the first and less of the second?
I did not have social media even when social media became a thing, I still did not like the concept of social media because I'm truly a private person. That's why the husband laughed when I shared with him, I think I want to start posting or vlogging. He's like, “What are you going to talk about? You don't like telling anything about yourself.” I love social media, just how it connects you to people. Like, look at us. It's tomorrow. You're in the future.
I love people. I am that person. My family always says Jessie has never met a stranger. I haven't, anywhere I go, I make friends, I connect with people. It's just, that I thought it was something everyone had or did, but the older I got, I saw that's not just something we all do or have or lean into. I just love people. Social media has given me access to so many people, and I love it. I love the community that has been built. There are just so many dynamic people that I have met, and that is solely because of social media. AI look at us, would we have met? In real life. The chances are slim. Maybe one day in London or something.
But I just think about with us, maybe we would've bumped into one another at a coffee shop and it would've just been like, nice to meet you. That would've been it. But social media gives us the ability to connect with people that we may have never met. I love that, just the connections and how different we are. I have mezame who are eight year olds and up to 80-year-old Norwegian women who message me. It's just so dynamic and it makes me so happy to be able to connect with so many people many cultures, many races, and many socioeconomic backgrounds. It's just, I'm still in awe. There's so much good with it. With that, it's bad. There are bad things and I am a very cup half full person, but I can say social media has the ability if you allow it.
A lot of it is just human nature as well. Social media has a way of picking you apart to a level that you have never been criticized before, where people will just troll you about everything. The way you speak, the way you look. Anything I've had people speak about the way I hold my espresso mug like, it's a higher level of scrutiny that you open yourself up to. I go to great lengths to remind myself that if 95% of the people are telling me that I am a good part of their day, I am helping them through tough times, inspiring them, motivate them. I cannot let the 5% affect me. But it does that 5%. It gets loud, especially if you have your doubts, your insecurities, and just being a human, that 5% can affect you. I'd say it's less than 5% in all actuality, but in, to just keep whole just numbers the math keeps the math simple. It does get hard when it comes to, just having your entire life. When I say life, I'm using air quotes because you only see what I show. But having the life that I show online, picked apart, no one wants that. No one wants to feel that everything they do is just criticized.
Completely. I was just having this same conversation with somebody this week and saying, it's so easy to focus on the negative and not the vast majority that is positive. How do you handle a negative comment or anything like that, or I know, like you also joke on social media and you have this wonderful wit and I remember once you did a post about luxury goods and husbands, and I think you got a bit of these people thinking you were being serious. And then you did another post like, everyone calm down. And it was wonderful. You have so much more support than negativity as you said. But when those do come, do you just go, I'm going to focus on the 95%, or how do you get through that? If somebody's listening to this podcast and they're like, I'm in that space right now.
One of the things I have learned, some things are just nonsense. Some things are just nonsense. Some comments are just so low vibrational and borderline just those I don't even entertain. But there are some messages where I'm just a super empathetic person. And being someone who has experienced dark times in my life, just depression and not feeling that I was worthy of anything, I can see that in other people. Sometimes when I get messages, especially with regards to luxury or me travelling the way that I do, I read deeper into those messages. I see in one of these messages, in particular, the woman and I became friends. She left me a very mean message about how I'm just so materialistic and it's evident that I only buy designer items because I'm trying to cover insecurities. She came back later criticising me about always travelling and not having my kids like just mean messages.
As I started to read those more, they were just too detailed. They were too detailed for someone who isn't or hasn't experienced that. I decided just to send her a message, a private message outside of the comments, just checking on her. I sent the message, and I can't remember it verbatim, but it was along the lines of, I've seen several comments that you've left on my page and I can feel hurt and I'm starting to think that these messages aren't about me. She replied and we just started talking and she shared with me how she once wanted to study fashion design, but her family wouldn't pay for her to go to school for fashion. It's something in the medical field that she hates. We talked so much, that it got down to us speaking about how she resents when she sees people showing up as their authentic selves, that she just wished that she had the drive.
She wished that she had stood up for herself. She did not realize that it was there, because sadly, that's one of the easiest emotions for us to show. It's one of the most socially acceptable emotions to show is anger. It's easier to show anger than it is to show, I wish I could have done this. I wish I could have had that. It's just more acceptable to be mean than it is to, I guess, reach out to someone and say, I admire you or seeing you makes me wish I had done things differently. She and I have built a beautiful relationship much so that I met her in person like we've met before. You just don't know what people are going through. Much of the feedback and messages that we receive, it has nothing to do with us. It has nothing to do with us because there is no way that one person can see one of my posts and paint this vivid picture of my entire life and my entire being. So much of the comments that we received, they're based on the sender. I always tell content creators that realize that 95% of the comments have nothing to do with you. That's like my favourite percentage at this point. Everything is 95%.
It has nothing to do with you. It's the person who is sending it because that's how we view life through our lens. I don't want to say you have to grow thicker skin because I don't believe in that. I do not believe in us hardening ourselves to be anywhere. We should always be able to be who we are, but just understand that people project in a lot of what's happening is people project their doubts, their insecurities, their fears, and their stuff. And it has nothing to do with you.
There's so much power in everything that you've just said. And I often say to my son, hurt people hurt people. We have conversations. He went through some friend stuff last year and he said to me, I wish I was an adult because adults must not have these friendship problems. I was like, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this is going to be the rest of your life. You're going to deal with it. You have to deal with people and with people, everyone's filters exactly like you said and the lenses. I think it's so beautiful that you got curious and took the time and had this gentle approach and then allowed that woman to come out. Because I'm sure not only did she say this stuff to you, but maybe in her own life has started opening up a bit more to people. You're so right. We somehow as a society think that anger is okay, but vulnerability and I'm feeling less than because of it, and putting ourselves out there is not okay. It's somehow weak, but it's not weak to go off at people on the internet we don't even know. There's so much to take away from it.
Yes. It's a strange world.
On that as well. When I booked in the one-on-one, like I said, I didn't know what we would talk about. It was beautiful, we laughed and cried and you're just such a beautiful soul and I'm so glad that we connected. You work with a lot of people in their forties and different periods of their lives when they are being pulled in so many directions. You and I have both experienced the death of a parent, and that is huge. You cared for your mom while she's had illness. A lot of people I know, a good friend of mine has just found out her mother has cancer and is going through that. And you're doing that at the same time as a lot of us also have either young children or we are becoming an aunt or an uncle for the first time, or we have teenagers that is their special source that comes into our life.
How do we find this space for ourselves and our style? I guess when I came to you, I was saying, I used to be so interested in style and I worked in fashion and I loved dressing up and doing this. I'd got into a bit of a rut just like covid and young children and wearing tracksuit pants all the time. I just wanted to get out of that. And it was so much more than what I was wearing. But how do you help women or men or any gender that's coming to you that there always seems to be something else on the to-do list here? It always seems to be like, the kids need this first, or I don't have time to look after myself in the morning because I've got to get this and this and this and this done, and then I've got to get to work. And then from work, I've got to pick the kids up and go to this sports thing. It just seems to a lot of women, and I think I'd also put it as it's not a priority and it's selfish if I want to think about that stuff or spend time on that stuff. There is a question in there, but it's how do people start, how do people start putting themselves first a little bit?
You have to, and it's just like with social media. You have to want to do it. I think about it on a level, especially when you have children, just knowing that your children are watching you. I'm always interested in just the historian in me. I'm always interested in the stories that my children tell about me. I think about my grandmother, I think about my mother, seeing them get dressed every day and how that affected me. They didn't have the time. My mother was exhausted. She had me later in life, just very exhausted. But she always pulled herself together. I think about that for my children. I want my kids to always say that about me. My mother just always looks so nice. She always gives them that sense of normalcy, that it just seems normal.
Once it becomes normalized, it's no longer a task. It's just something that you do, how you share it with your father. I'm sure he didn't think about that. That wasn't even a task for him. It's just something he did every single day. Many of us, especially when we become moms, put ourselves, I can't even say second, we're not even a priority at all. But I always made a point to get dressed no matter where I was going. Right now, I'm just working from wherever I want to work, there are times when I only leave the house to take my daughter to daycare. My 16-year-old, I'm homeschooling him. Taking her to school, that's often the only time I leave the house. When I take her to school, that is my time to wear all of my cute clothes.
That's an event, it's an experience like doing that. If you start normalizing just getting dressed for everyday life, it becomes a part of your day. It just becomes like a routine. We spoke about, not waiting for a special occasion. Every day that we wake up, that's a special occasion. Every day that we are physically able to put one leg in our pants or our dress or whatever it is, that is a special occasion. I don't know if we discussed this, but I'm also a licensed mortician. I'm very aware of how short life is. If we are constantly waiting for the unicorn, the glitter, I don't know what we are waiting for. We may not ever see it. I always hope each day that I wake up isn't my last. But if for some reason it was, I want to know the one that I went out in style when that funeral director came and picked me up, they are going to say how fabulous she looked. I don't want to have regrets.
I completely forgot that we talked about, I mean, I remember it, but when you said, I'm a licensed mortician, and one of the things that go to what you were just saying is that you were saying how many people come to dress the body like the family. I've had the privilege of dressing a few bodies of people that I loved and adored. You'd spend a lot of time thinking about what are the clothes that were going to put them in. You said that there were people who were like, she never wore this because there wasn't an occasion to, even though she loved this jacket or it still had the tags on, or things like that. It's such a reminder, like, wear the things, live the life while you can. I wanted to ask quickly about the publications and the media that you've got because it's not just social media. You've taken this business into prominent publications like USA Today, New York Magazine, and Forbes, and you've been on TV, I've seen multiple things where you're on TV giving style advice or other things. You've established yourself as this recognized authority in this fashion industry. And the style, I would say more than fashion, because style is iconic and fashion comes and goes. But what advice would you have for small business owners who want to get that media attention as well?
Yes. The biggest thing I would say is don't view yourself as small. Because it's one of those things like, are we small business owners? Yes. That is just the reality of it. However, you don't want to think small. A lot of times we feel that our product isn't big enough for this publication, for this new station, for this. We play small because we feel that whatever it is that we are doing it is small. Put yourself out there, put yourself out there. Do not let the amount of followers you have stop you from pitching to a brand your engagement. Don't let those things stop you from pitching to publications, and news stations, station, and even consider hiring help if you do, if that's something that you're interested in, be willing to invest in yourself. Looking for a publicist, looking for someone who can do their thing, that's their job. They know how to position you properly. Be willing to invest in yourself and just don't sell yourself short.
Such good advice. Not that just because the tax office thinks we are small by whatever they have. We're not small. On that with your business, you've been able to grow it and you're just so good at what you do. I just know that it's going to go bigger and bigger and bigger. But have you had business mentors or did you read any particular books or films or even tech tools that have helped you outside of obviously the social media platforms that have helped you build this business?
I had never met an entrepreneur before until very late in my adult life. Because just growing up in Washington, DC everyone for the most part was the federal government. There wasn't an entrepreneurial spirit, I should say, until I moved to the EU, moved to South Africa and everything. I just met so many different people, but I had like life mentors. There wasn't one person in particular. I have just been so fortunate to have people who are so well versed, so dynamic, so multifaceted throughout my life I have come in touch with so many people where I just pull pieces from everyone that I meet. That's from the janitors in the buildings when I was working in the federal government up to undersecretaries. I find value in anyone that I meet. I feel that we can always learn from someone.
I just think back at so many people and places in my life where I have pulled inspiration from and I don't even know if these people knew they inspired me, but I saw it in them and it inspired me. I have great just personal mentors who have turned professional life people. I just see living lives that I yearn to have. And it shows me that it's possible. My followers that I meet, I'm inspired by them. I just see inspiration any and everywhere.
It's so powerful because we do and you are inspiring a whole bunch of people that will never tell you that you're inspiring them. They're just from a distance and you're so right. We just learn constantly. I constantly think that people, especially older people I feel like are like library books. You're going to learn something. There are so many different library books in the library like we just meet people all day long who are constantly teaching us. On that, what are you most proud of from your journey with Cappuccinos and Consignment so far?
I would say that I am proud of taking this leap of faith. That's the biggest thing that I am proud of. By no means do I have everything figured out. I love that. Just for so much of my life, I have always had to have answers. I had to know exactly where I was going. My life was a checklist. Everything was a checklist. I never took the time to explore. And being in this space now in a field that I don't know anyone else who has entered, it's just a learning process. I am just so proud of myself for believing that I could do this. Where it ends up going, who knows? But I'm just, I'm so proud that I went ahead and I bet on myself and I am willing to embark on this journey.
I could talk to you for hours, but I know. I have to say, Jessie, I have almost recorded 400 podcast episodes and this has been one of my absolute favourite conversations to date. Thank you so much for coming on. Where can people connect if people are listening to this and they're thinking, I need to book a session with her stat, or I want to be part of her ee or I want to be part of her subscriptions or I want to follow her, like where is the best place to find out everything about you?
The website is cappuccinosandconsignment.com and that's my name everywhere. Instagram, @cappuccinosandconsignment, TikTok, @cappuccinosandconsignment, YouTube Cappuccinos and Consignment. I feel like I have a Pinterest, but, I don't know if I post there often. But you can find me everywhere at Cappuccinos and Consignment.
Thank you for giving up your evening, but I hope you go and get some beautiful rest in those beautiful pyjamas. thank you so much for taking the time and for everything you do because even one-on-one, I'm still thinking about things from it. And even stuff you've just said in this conversation, I'm like, I am going to focus in on that for myself, my own business, let alone selfishly let alone for everyone on the podcast. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for having me. It's been an absolute pleasure. Bye.
Bye.
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I honestly could have talked to Jessie for hours and hours. Also, I should apologize, my voice is very croaky at the moment. Thankfully it wasn't like this when I talked to Jessie, but I just absolutely loved that conversation and any conversation that I've been lucky enough to have with Jessie. I would love to know what resonated most for you. I think this is such a powerful episode, especially if you are a working parent and a mother in particular. I do think that we often put ourselves. Last on the priority list. I think there's so much, so much in this, but I'd love to know what you took away, whether you are a mom, whether you're not, whether you are a parent or not, whatever your life looks like. What has been a powerful message from Jessie for you in this episode?
You can always send us a DM at mydailybusiness_ or @mydailybusiness on TikTok. Jessie, I'm sure we'd love to hear from you. You can contact Jessie via her Instagram, which is just Cappuccinos and Consignment, the same on TikTok, and YouTube. You can also go to cappuccinosandconsignment.com to find out more about all the things that she offers. But I'm going to mention two things that stood out as I always do. The first, which probably will come as no surprise as to what I've been talking about is prioritising yourself. I love that when I talked about that, she said, it's just like social media. You've got to want to do it. You've got to want to put yourself first. I think, and I'm talking from my own experience as well, I think sometimes when we don't put ourselves first, we can get resentful or annoyed or frustrated as opposed to being like, how am I the problem, I'm the problem because I'm not speaking up, I'm not saying I need this time or I'm going to take this or I'm going to start doing that for myself or I'm going to stop doing that.
I know in my own life over the last few years, and if you follow me on Instagram, you'll know this, I go for a lot of morning walks and I've even done a podcast episode about how I get out in the morning because I had a lovely client and friend who asked me, I get that you go for a walk, but like how do you practically do that when you've got two young children that need to get ready for school and everything else? And part of that came from me talking to my husband who was also home at that time and saying, this is what I need. I don't want to go for a walk in the middle of the day because it interrupts my workflow. I can't go for a walk in the evenings because a lot of the time I'm the one looking after the children and stuff.
I mean he does as well, but it just wasn't going to work. I knew, if I put exercise at the end of the day, I was never going to do it. Whereas if I put it first thing in the day it gets done. I feel mentally better as well as physically better. I'm so much fitter since I've been going for these walks. I live in a very hilly area, but that started with me thinking, that I need to put myself first and then I need to let other people know that I need to do X, Y, Z. I think for so long I hadn't done that and I'd as if I'd been waiting for somebody to give me that time or to say, you can do this, as opposed to me going, I need to do this. Likewise, even just with things like getting my hair cut or putting some makeup on or buying a better moisturizer, I don't know who I was waiting to turn up a fairy godmother and do it all for me as opposed to like, this is what I'm going to put some effort in time and some cases money into because it's a priority and I'm worth it not that I want to be a L'Oreal, but we are all worth it.
The same goes for getting up and getting dressed. I loved when Jessie was talking about her grandmother and it did make me think of my dad. For years I've always thought my mom was quite into style and dressing up and she'd make her clothes. I always thought that that's where I got my interest in it. I love that when she was talking about it, I was like, my father was the one who never came out to the kitchen in his pyjamas. He was always completely ready. I don’t know if that came from him being on the ships for a long time or what, but he was always in the idea of like, show up as well as you can every day your shirt needs to be ironed, it needs to be clean, your trousers need to be pressed.
He shaved most of his life and I think that's such a beautiful gift in which you talked about storytelling and thinking about how your lack of showing up for yourself is impacting your kids and whether they're your kids or whether other people in your life see you and in you see a pathway for themselves. If you are not showing up for yourself, if you're not saying I'm worth this, what are you reflecting and what are you educating other people around you to think about themselves? I love that she talks about how you need to want to do this and then you just need to do it. The second thing that spoke to me out of, I mean so many things, but the second thing that I'm going to highlight is when Jessie talked about content creation and the idea that experiment, test and test before you have this huge audience and that so often people are waiting for this big audience to come for them to feel like it's worth their time to put into content or creating an email or creating social media posts or creating a YouTube channel.
As I said in the chat with Jessie, I started my Sunday email with nine people on that list and I spoke to those nine people in the same way that I speak to them now when there are thousands of people on that list. If I hadn't shown up and sent consistent emails every single Sunday to those nine people who then grew to maybe 12 people that then grew to 16 people, it would never have grown because it would never have been out in the world and people wouldn't be able to tell their friends about it or send it on. Even just literally this morning, somebody in my group coaching mentioned that their friend had forwarded my Sunday email that I sent a couple of days ago to them because they were going through something similar and they're like, I'm feeling this right now.
All of that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't dared to send the first email and send the second email and keep showing up even if my email list was growing at such a snails pace. Believe me, it grew so slowly for ages. Likewise, with my Instagram, I remember when I was so excited to get to a thousand, I remember how excited I was to get to a thousand because it had taken so long to get to a thousand followers. Even now, I'm finding Instagram and I feel like a lot of my clients are finding this. You get a lot of followers, a lot of unfollows, a lot of followers, a lot of unfollows. The difference is negligible sometimes. But the point is to show up consistently. It's the same with this podcast, it's the same.
As this podcast has grown, I don’t know how many downloads we're at now, but at least 850,000. And that's huge. I'm proud of that. But also a lot of that has come by being consistent and showing up week after week after week, even when my voice sounds like this to show up and experiment and test things. As Jessie said, sometimes the best way to test and experiment is when there are not very many people. Because if you're doing embarrassing things or you're feeling a bit awkward, not that many people are going to see it. It's a good thing to get out there and try. Without doing that, you'll never know. You'll sit back and think, well I could have had I could have had that presence on YouTube or I could have had that podcast or I could have done this.
Believe me, before I started this podcast, I had got the intro for this podcast, not the one that's here now, but I'd got another one created in 2016. I bought the royalty free track in 2016 and I did not launch this podcast for another three and a half years later because I sat back and thought, but I don't have a big enough audience. But what if no one listens? You know what, no one's going to listen if you don't have a podcast. If you don't put out that first episode, no one's going to listen because no one can listen. After all, you're not giving them the opportunity. I love that she talked about that. You can look at people like Jessie and think, they're so confident and they just show up and it's all very easy.
But every single person that you follow, like and appreciate in the online space has to start somewhere. They had to send out that first post, that first video, that first TikTok to see what they were doing. I have to say with TikTok, for example, we are on TikTok now you can follow us @mydailybusiness. I'm just having fun experimenting on TikTok. There's stuff that I'm putting on TikTok that I wouldn't put on Instagram because I've grown that audience a bit and I feel like it's fun, it's novel, it's exciting, it's getting my creative juices flowing again. I think being a beginner is such a blessing in all sorts of content, particularly in social media because we sometimes think that all these rules and you have to do this and you have to do that. What if I show up and people say stuff?
What if I get trolled? It's like, yes, you might. But you know what? You might also get a whole bunch of people who are like, I needed to see that today. Thank you so much for posting. This is exactly what I needed. This is exactly what I'm going through. I feel heard, I feel the connection. I just love that she talked about that. That is it for today's wonderful interview with the beautiful and fabulous Jessie Frances, who I'm hoping to meet in real life at some point, maybe this year, maybe next, who knows. But Jessie is just absolutely incredible. As we talked about. She doesn't have a specific this is exactly what my business does because her business does so much. She's this fashion historian, this public speaker. She talks about all sorts of things, lifestyle, travel, finance, and as she says on her Instagram, cappuccinos and consignment are where sustainable luxury rendezvous.
If you're interested in getting in touch with Jessie, being part of her mezame being part of anything that she's offering, then go on over to check her out on all the socials under Cappuccinos and Consignment. And you can also find her at cappuccinosandconsignment.com. If you found this a fabulous episode and you learn from it, I would love it if you could hit subscribe and make sure that you don't miss any more of these episodes. Also, if you might take two seconds and leave us a review, it just helps other small business owners find this podcast. I'm sure that every small business owner would benefit from today's chat and listening to it. Thank you again, Jessie, for coming in and sharing and I can't wait to see the feedback on this episode and have my audience connect with yours. Thank you so much for reading. I'll see you next time. Bye.
