Do you ever feel like you're just faking it?
I have a question for you...
Ready?
How often do you feel a sense of being an imposter or that you're somehow just making it all up as you go along?
Never?
Sometimes?
Always?
No matter how experienced you are, at every level of business there will be things you know how to do and things you don't (yet). It's this latter element that can cause us to freak out, doubt our own judgement or knowledge, and contemplate whether we are even on the right path being in business.
In my business I'm lucky to work alongside people 10, sometimes 20+ years into running their own business, and others who are just getting started. In my experience, these feelings of inadequacy or intellectual fraudulence don't cease to exist because you hit a magical number of years in the game. In fact, it's often only after being in business for some time that you will be levelling up to a degree where uncertainty and trying something new is crucial in maintaining your business.
In the last fortnight I have spoken with three different clients who were all facing a similar sense of feeling that they were out of their depth, or a sense of what's commonly known as, "Imposter Syndrome". While their businesses are at various stages (sub 12 months, 11 years and 22 years) they were all in a stage of transition. And, it's here I find that imposter syndrome can be at its strongest.
What might "transition" look like?
· Hiring staff
· Buying or renting commercial property
· Raising your prices
· Expanding into new territories
· Launching online
· Launching bricks & mortar
· Marketing yourself as the figurehead
· Getting legal advice for copycat companies
· Preparing your business to sell
· Firing staff
· Investing in a business coach or another professional service
· Launching a course
· Publishing a book
· Starting a podcast
And, so many more.
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Even simply working on your 2021 plans can bring your inner critic to the fore.
· Who do you think you are, planning X or Y?
· How will someone like you ever bring in that amount of revenue?
· What will everyone think if I do X in my business?
· This won't happen, don't fool yourself.
· Everyone else is already doing a better job in your industry, you should just quit.
· You don't know enough to make that a goal.
· How will my business ever stand out?
· You're just not good enough to reach X.
· This is all just a pipe dream, you can't actually make it work.
So, what can you do if you're feeling yourself sinking into feeling like an imposter or that you don't deserve X, Y or Z in your business?
Well, after working on this with so many clients over the last five years (and my own insecurities as a small biz owner as well), here are four tactics that may help:
1. Awareness and acceptance
In the first year of running my business I was asked to write three separate business articles about Imposter Syndrome for publications in Australia and the US. The act of doing this forced me to research this topic in depth, interview psychologists and ask myself questions around how I had coped with it previously (as this impacts employed people just as much and I definitely felt it at times in former management roles). It also allowed me to become aware of just how commonplace Imposter Syndrome is and, in turn, be able to accept it as just a part of life. Being aware of something enables you to move from a state of chaos (what is this? It must be me) to one of curiosity (how have others dealt with this? what can I learn?). I am fortunate to see the insides of so many different businesses and I think this had protected me somewhat. Believe me when I say feeling like an imposter or inadequate is something every single biz owner deals with from time to time.
2. Stop the spiral
If you have read my book you'll know I'm a big one for making changes by transforming hindering habits to helpful ones. This is similar to the psychological tool, the T.F.A.R model, which stands for Thought (or Trigger/Thought) - Feelings - Actions - Result. We can be triggered, say by a post on social media, we then have a thought like "wow, look what X competitor is doing, why am I even bothering", which may lead to feelings of inadequacy, which then lead to action (or inaction) and results i.e., "Well, I stopped doing X for my business, because what's the point and now I have the result I knew I'd have: nothing". This is a very simple version of it, but the point is that when it comes to Imposter Syndrome, part of moving through it and past it, is to stop the spiral. This may be catching your thoughts, removing triggers and stopping the spiral before it leads to taking action or inaction that will negatively impact your business. How might you put in place habits or tactics to stop the spiral?
3. Embrace the positive
When was the last time someone complimented you or gave you positive feedback and you simply said, thank you (as opposed to minimising their comments or flat out refuting them)? Most of us have been brought up to believe that saying "thank you" to positive feedback is somehow proof of an ego or being boastful. But simply doing this can be the start of owning what we do well and believing enough in ourselves to not give into the temptation of Imposter Syndrome when it crosses our path. I like to keep a Sunshine folder in my email (a tip an old manage at Audible told me once) and input any and all emails I receive about what I've done well or how my emails, book, podcast etc has helped small biz owners. When I'm finding myself creeping into a downer spiral or feeling like I'm an imposter, I take a moment to read through these and it helps. What do you do well? Write these things down and keep them somewhere you can easily access them. The other thing here is to focus on what's most important in your life and business. I recently had a horrible, very confronting conversation with someone. It shocked me and I found myself really cut up about it. Instead of falling into a spiral and dissecting the conversation on rotation, I instead made more time to hang out with my kids, to play, laugh, have deep conversations with my husband and go on walks with close friends. It definitely stopped the spiral and it also made me focus on what's most important in life.
4. Remember, no one is perfect
I have worked with people who appear, from the outside, to "have it all" and yet, just like everyone else, they are facing their own challenges and upheavals. No one has it figured out 24/7. No one feels like they have every part of their business and life in control at all times. When you're tempted to feel like you're the only one experiencing Imposter Syndrome, remember that every expert at some point started their journey with the courage to get curious, to accept they might need to learn more. At these moments when we can let our inner critic get the best of us, it's wise to reflect on the words of Arthur Ashe, "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can".