Episode 183: International Women's Day
Happy International Women's Day! In today's episode, Fiona celebrates IWD by sharing important things that she has learned from the women in her life. Tune in!
Topics discussed in this episode:
Introduction
7 women who helped Fiona
On lessons learned
Conclusion
Get in touch with My Daily Business Coach
Resources and Recommendations mentioned in this episode:
Carmel Killackey
Vyjantri Bhagwandas
Genevieve Bailey
Phoebe Bell
Marre Smit
Smit Club
Web Club
Faustina Agolley
Maria Ivkovic
Jo Barry
Natasha Ace
Hello and welcome to episode 183 of the My Daily Business Coach podcast. My name is Fiona Killackey and I'm your host. And today it is a quick tip episode. This episode is going to be a little bit different, and that is because if you're listening to this in real-time, today, it is Tuesday, the 8th of March, 2022, which means it is International Women's Day. So I wanted to take this opportunity to really dive into some really important things that I have been taught by the women in my life. But before we get into that, I want to pay my respects and acknowledge the traditional owners and custodians on the beautiful land on which I live and play and record this podcast, the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation, and I pay my respects to their elders past present, and emerging and acknowledge that sovereignty has never been ceded. And I also wanted to highlight because it is International Women's Day, that domestic violence is still a huge issue in this world.
I mean, it's 2022. You would think that these things would have been reduced, but instead, it looks like they have increased. And especially with this stress and everything else that has gone on and is still going on in the world, we forget that there are many women. Women, we may talk to every day. Women, we may work with. Women, we might pass in the shops, women, who we might admire on Instagram, who are going through their own private hell behind closed doors. So let this be a reminder that if there's somebody in your life that you haven't checked in on for a while, or perhaps there are people that look like they've got it all together, perhaps it's time to just send them a message, send them a text, arrange to meet up, arrange to get dinner, arrange, to have a cup of tea, if you're able to, and just sort of let them know that you are, you are there.
If they need somebody to talk to and you are there if they need somebody to help them move away from that situation. So I know that it's a very complex issue. I have worked with many domestic violence charities and organizations, and it is not as simple as just leaving, but I think the first thing that can help is having somebody in their life who is asking, are you okay? Is there anything I can do? And willing to broach that taboo often taboo subject of, let's talk about domestic violence. Let's talk about financial violence, financial abuse, emotional abuse. It's not always physical. And just being that friend that somebody can turn to. So just a reminder today on International Women's Day, that this is still a huge killer of women, particularly where I'm from in Australia. And so do whatever you can to let the other women in your life know, and people who identify as women know that you are there for them.
And if you need resources as a friend or as somebody experiencing family and domestic violence, please know there are so many places to find information. 1-800-RESPECT is a number you can call at any time. You can also go to the 1-800-RESPECT website, safe steps, your toolkit, our watch. I mean, there are so many, please, if you're in that situation, please know there is help available. And if you think you need to talk to other friends or family who may be in that situation, know that there's also help available for you as the friend helping if that makes sense. All right, let's get on with today's episode.
So it is International Women's Day, I wanted to give a shout-out to the women in my life who helped me all the time with personal and professional matters. And I know I'm so fortunate that I actually have so many women in my life who have helped me continue to help me. I just know, are there for me in the future as well. And I wanted to share just seven people that have helped me tremendously in my life and what I wanted to do because it is a tip tool or tactic Tuesday. I wanted to share a tip that they have helped me with or a way of seeing the world that has really impacted me. And of course, I just need to caveat this again by saying, I am very lucky to have so many women in my life.
So if you are a good friend of mine and you are not on this list, please don't take it personally. Please know that you are still helping me, that I can't make this an hour-long episode. So I've just literally nutted out a couple of notes here. But really, I'm. I'm so lucky because it really didn't take long at all to even think of these things. So in no particular order, here are seven women who have really helped me in my life and some in different seasons of my life and many right now as well. But, I wanted to, you kind of share a lesson that, or a tip, I guess, that they have shared with me, maybe not even specifically, saying these words, but just the way that they live, they have shared this with me. So in no particular order, here it goes.
So the first one is my mom, my dear mom, Carmel Killackey who passed away suddenly in 2017, but I was incredibly lucky to grow up with a very strong role model as a mother, a huge feminist, somebody who rallied against racism, inequalities in all sorts of ways. And somebody who's also been incredibly nurturing most of her life was working as a midwife and then a psychiatric nurse for postnatal depression. And then as a social worker for parents of terminally ill children at the Royal Children's Hospital here in Melbourne, the lesson that my mom taught me more than anything else was that anything is possible. She used to always say that anything is possible, if you put your mind to it, anything is possible. And I feel like it was this utter belief, in that it wasn't just like a catch cry that she used. She honestly believed that anyone could do anything.
If they put their mind to it, they would find resources. They'd be able to find people to help them and they'd be able to find a path forward. And that was not because she came from some incredibly wealthy, privileged background. I mean, yes, definitely. She had privileges just by being white and living in the era that she did, but she definitely did think that anything was possible for people. And she exemplified that. So that was from mom. Thanks, mom. Second, on the list is my good friend Vi. So Ry bag, GUAS, Ary courts. She is now known as, so Vi and I have been friends for at least some years, we went to school together for like 30 years, I should say. Not I'm trying to act like I'm young here, but Vi is a very good friend. We have matching tattoos and we have had many super deep conversations.
We've also had crazy conversations on the dance floor. We have partied, we have cried together, we have read incredibly philosophical books together and dissected all of them. We've watched beautiful movies. I think both of us could probably recite every single line in Reality Bites if we were put to the test. But one of the tips that Vi said to me many years ago was that people come into your life for a season. And sometimes that season goes on and on. And sometimes it doesn't. And I remember her saying that I think it was in reference to a breakup or something else, but it is something that I've come back to so many times, not just in my life, but also in my business, certain things last sometimes and just flow easily. Other things don't sometimes you'll have incredible connections with some people and sometimes you don't.
And I just love that she phrased that, sometimes people come into your life for a season and they're there for what is necessary. And then for whatever reason, they leave and that's something I've always come back to. So I think if you're listening to this and depending, maybe it's in your personal life, maybe it's in your business that something has ended and you maybe didn't see it coming. I think maybe just find some solace. Sometimes things are around for a season and sometimes they're a lot longer than that, but I love that piece of advice from Vi. So thank you Vi next on the list is my dear friend, Genevieve Bailey, who is the founder of Proud Mother Pictures. She's an award-winning documentary filmmaker as well. And for anyone who knows Gen, you will know that she is incredibly kind, incredibly giving greatly generous.
Genevieve is the type of person that will turn up if she did to my father's funeral and she will stay until the very end, she'll be the person washing the dishes, making sure that everybody's taken care of, making sure that you don't have to think about anything and will do all of that with the moment's notice. She's absolutely one of the loveliest people around. And I guess the thing that I've learned most from Genevieve is to be kind, not to other people, but to yourself as well. It is something that she regularly talks about. She talks a lot about mental health and works a lot in that space and is one of those people that just exemplifies kindness and generosity. And I think it is such an important thing to learn, to be kind to yourself. And it's something that she has reminded me of many times when I've needed it, I've really needed to step back and be a little bit kinder to myself.
So thank you so much, Genevieve, the next person. And again, this is in no order, all of these women are incredible in their own rights is Phoebe Bell, who is the founder of Sage and Clare now, Phoebe and I met at book club at the end or towards the end. I think it was September 2019. So just before the pandemic hit and I didn't know her at all, we just met and got talking and we created this wonderful friendship, particularly because of the pandemic. So we live around the corner from each other and we started doing these really long walks of like two hours, three hours every single week. And just talking, talking about our businesses, talking about our lives and the thing, I mean, I've learned so many things from Phoebe, but I was thinking about, what's one of the biggest lessons or two that she has taught me just by being who she is.
And I think it's to take risks. I think Phoebe has built an incredible brand with Sage and Clare, but also she's taken risks. She has kind of backed herself. And I think that is something we don't see enough of with women, especially in females, in business as well, but she's backed herself. She's backed other people as well. And I think by backing herself and taking these risks, she has enabled other people to be inspired by that. I know I'm one of them, to really dare to do things. And I mean, her entire story with Sage and Clare is exactly that. And also her story with pregnancy, which she has shared on other podcasts, such as Mother/Other. And she talks about her journey to have her beautiful children. And I think that is also so incredibly inspiring to be open about everything that you're going through to be vulnerable, to put yourself out there.
So many lessons and inspiration that I have drawn from Phoebe as a good friend. So thanks, Phoebe. Another person on my wonderful list here is Marre Smit. So Mar is the founder of the Smit club and she is a graphic designer, website designer, and website mentor with Web Club over in Amsterdam, and in the Netherlands, Mar and I met during a mastermind. We were both parts of Melissa Griffin in the US. So we kind of got to know each other over six months during that mastermind, which was completely online for both of us because of the pandemic. And we would just start laughing like we would be on Zoom with other people and we would just be like messaging each other, these silly little things. And I just thought this woman is awesome. And I could completely see myself laughing with her on whole and just cackling into our cups of tea.
And I just thought this is like a soul sister and it has worked out like that. So Mar and I started chatting on WhatsApp during that mastermind. And we actually chat pretty much every single day. So she will record messages. I will go for my work, listen to them, I'll record messages. She will go to work, listen to them. And then we have Zoom catch ups as well and FaceTimes. And she has just been an incredible source of inspiration, wisdom. She's Dutch. She just tells it like it is no-nonsense. And I really appreciate that about her. So I guess the thing that she has taught me over the past kind of year and a half that or year really that I've known her is to be really honest with yourself, to get really honest and ask yourself first, rather than always looking for other people's opinions or finding the answer in a book or looking for some sort of inspiration or education to look inside yourself, to ask us self, how do I feel, why am I doing this?
Where is this coming from? Where are these thoughts coming from? And to get really honest with yourself, she's an incredibly honest person. And she did warn me at the start. She said we're Dutch. We're very blunt. We just say how it is. And she has lived up to that in a beautiful way. Thank you, Mar for reminding me to get honest with myself and to look at myself from the answers as well. Next on my list is Faustina Agolley. So, Faustina and I met God 20 years ago, maybe no, 18 years ago, I think, or maybe 17. I was working at Fashion Journal Magazine and magazine. And I went to do a photoshoot with the wonderful Maria Ivkovic and also Jo Barry and Faustina was the model. And she had brought her mom along and we got shade and we stayed in touch.
And a lot of our lives, we have not lived in the same city. She lived in Melbourne when I lived in London and then she lived in Sydney and I lived in Melbourne and then she lived in LA and I lived in London again. And so we'd never really actually been in the same city for that long, but we have kept in touch through all sorts of digital mediums. And again, like so many of these other people, she has been there for the tough times and really showed up massively, in ways that you can't imagine that somebody would drop everything and just show up for you and for my family as well. So, a massive thank you to Faustina. And I guess the lesson that Faustina has taught me in our friendship and in her business and in her life is to go deep.
That life is short and to go deep with people to really talk about the important things, to get out there, to protest against things that you don't believe in, to speak up, to know your truth, own your truth. And I think it's an incredible trait to have. I think it takes incredible bravery and courage to stand up, when everything sort of seems against you and to also with her friends to go deep, she has never been somebody that we just sit and talk about the weather conversations go deep from the first five minutes they always have. They probably always will. And I love her for that. And I think that's a great lesson in life . Don't spend time just on the surface level, find out who your customers are.
Find out who are the people around? You find out more about people you live with, ask the questions, and be willing to be vulnerable yourself. And so in turn that helps other people feel safe to be vulnerable. So massive, thank you to Faustina for that lesson. Always go deep always. And then finally, Natasha Ace, my lovely friend, founder of Private Practice Alliance, and Ace Private Practice, Natasha and I met years ago at my very first client that I had out of when I started this business. And she was also working there as a consultant. And I have to say, when we first met, we clashed. Natasha is a very up-front American woman who is strong and will not back down sometimes. And neither can I sometimes. And I think we sort of butted heads when we first met and yet we created this incredible friendship and she is somebody who I know will always say how she actually feels and give me the space and courage to do the same.
And so when I think about all the things that Natasha has taught me, I think the number one is to be yourself, be yourself and excuse my language. If you have children, maybe just turn this down for a second. She is the first person to be like, **** it, **** them. I'm not trying to impress anybody. I'm here to do a good job, do good work, and enjoy my life. And I love that about her. I love her no BS attitude to the world and to business and to life. She is incredibly smart and incredibly good at what she does. And she knows that and not in an arrogant or conceited way, but she knows it enough to back herself and trust herself and to not put up with anything that is outside her boundaries.
I love that about her. I love that she shows up as she is. If she doesn't agree with something, she says it as it is. I love that she's passionate about equality about anti-racism about feminism, sex, I just love it. She taught me so much, but I think the biggest thing is to be myself and be okay with that. So there it is, the lessons that I have been taught from seven of the incredible women in my life, as I said before, I am so lucky and so fortunate to have so many other women. So if you're listening to this, I just know there are so many other good friends of mine who I have not included in this. And that is not intentional. It is literally just time, but know that I love you. And for all the people out there who have got good friends and maybe haven't put in the effort lately to kind of text them, call them, see if you can catch up.
And I know it's really hard. Sometimes I know, especially here in Melbourne with all the lockdowns, I probably retreated a bit when we opened up, everything seemed a bit more of an effort, but in 2022, it is definitely something that I am working on, to really make room and make time and put it as a priority. The women in my life, who are absolutely incredible. So Happy International Women's Day. I hope this has inspired you to lift up the women around you to remind them of all the good things that they have taught you and to those women in my life. Thank you for being incredible friends, incredible cheerleaders, and always having my back. I really feel like women run the world to quote fiance, but I really do feel like it. I feel like if we can come together and really celebrate, acknowledge, encourage one another, good things will happen. So thank you so much and Happy International Women's Day again. And if you'd like a transcript of this, all links to see some of my amazing friends, you can find that at mydailybusinesscoach.com/podcast/183. Thank you so much for listening. I'll see you next time. Bye.
Thanks for listening to the My Daily Business Coach podcast. If you wanna get in touch, you can do that at mydailybusinesscoach.com or hit me up on Instagram @mydailybusinesscoach.
