Five life and biz lessons from my biggest role model in life
There are some people who come into your life and just make a MASSIVE impact. It may be a stranger who you only share 50 minutes seated next to during an early morning flight, it could be a friend you make on the first day of high school who stays in your life for decades, or it might even be a random encounter with someone on an IG story that stops you in your tracks and makes you consider the world - and the place of you and your business within it - from a new angle.
My mum was one such person for me. Obviously, she was there since before I was born, but as I moved into my mid-20s and 30s she went from being my “mum” to being a really great friend; one I spoke to for hours each week and who I often workshopped ideas for life, business, love and friendships with before anyone else.
In light of today being Mother’s Day here in Australia I wanted to highlight five of the greatest lessons Mum taught me, things that I’ve applied to both my business and personal life.
In no particular order.,..
You can do anything you put your mind to
I used this as the dedication in my book because it was a mantra my mum said that I’ve come back to, perhaps more than any other, during my business (and just life in general). My mum had a steely belief that anything was possible and she led by example showing myself and my siblings what can be achieved when you merge motivation, belief and action.
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You choose how you react to what’s happening around you
Goodness me, I can’t begin to count how many times I heard this, or versions of it, from my mum. As someone who worked with people in the most challenging moments of their lives (first as a midwife, then as a psychiatric nurse for women experiencing severe post-natal depression & anxiety, and later as a social worker and bereavement counselor for parents of terminally ill children) mum knew exactly how hard life could be, but she also had this belief that we all have the opportunity inside of us to work through those challenges by focusing on what we can control and bringing to the fore things we can be grateful for.
You’re not the only one going through it
Perhaps my most vivid memory of this statement, was when mum said it sternly after being (frankly) over me crying for the 512th time about the first boy to break my heart. After being dumped I had been moping about for months, letting important things slide and generally being quite irritable and rude to my nearest and dearest. “Do you think you’re the only one who has ever had their heart broken? Life goes on Fiona...Everyone in this world is going through difficult things but they get up and they keep going; they don’t blame everyone else around them”. It was a harsh lesson but one I had to learn and one that’s helped me many times in business. Sure, you may be having a tough week but taking this frustration out on your staff, on customers or clients is not the way forward. In some of my most challenging moments, I’ve been comforted to see how many other people have gone through the same thing and sought inspiration in their tales of survival.
You can get through anything in life, with laughter
My parents got engaged after their first date and went on to have a pretty awesome marriage for close to 50 years. When I asked mum how she knew, so soon, that dad was for her she said “he made me laugh”. No matter what challenge lay before her, mum had a way of finding something funny in it. If someone had just passed on, Mum would relay a story that made her remember them with a smile. When things were tight with money, she found entertainment through sharing stories and jokes. In their later years, it wasn’t uncommon to find my parents sitting together in the front room, laughing over some long forgotten memory. Many times when my business has felt unstable or the world around me feels unfriendly, I have sought out humor to ease the way forward. There is always light, if we choose to look for it.
You have to believe in yourself
I was not a confident child and still suffer, from time to time, with self-doubt and feelings of being worthy. My mum was forever preaching to my siblings and I that belief in one’s ability came from within. Whether it was standing up to racism, speaking out against sexism, calling ABC radio to vent her frustrations, applying for jobs, speaking up in a lecture hall, questioning teachings of an institution or yelling at the TV while watching a game of golf (or any sport), mum was adamant that her voice was worthy of being heard (a big thing for a woman of her generation). For me in business this looks like setting boundaries, backing the price of my work, mapping opportunities against my values, catching myself when I’m heading into comparisonville and most of all, putting myself forward and trying new things, even when my ego feels threatened.
She was a pretty spectacular woman, my mum, and I’m so fortunate to have had her for the first 36 years of my life (even if I didn’t appreciate it all the time #HelloTeenYears). I hope the words she shared with me so many times during our relationship, resonate and give you fuel for thought this Sunday.
And if you are a mum, a mother figure or pregnant right now, I’m wishing you a very happy Mother’s Day.
Likewise, if you are in the throes of TTC and it’s not going to plan, or if you have lost your mother or a mum-figure or have a troubled relationship with the mum in your life, know I’m sending you a giant hug. This day can be a painful one.